Goosebumps!

Posted on April 19, 2013 by natalietrew

Are you the sort of person who when told something either wonderful or sad gets goosebumps? I am and this week I’ve had a few of those moments!

With the kids returning to school on Monday it meant I also had to return to work. We had a fabulous holiday together so none of us wanted to part with each other Monday morning, but we did! After Sienna went to bed crying Sunday night because she didn’t want to go back to school and leave me, I went to bed feeling sick. I was expecting something like this to occur, but I was so hopeful that she had overcome the separation anxiety feelings she gets. Thankfully after a bit of a shaky morning getting ready for her first day back, she has been fabulous at school all week! Not one tear has been shed just lots of beautiful big happy smiles! Phew!!!

Tuesday night was parent teacher night. I arrived a little bit early (I know what some of you are thinking – early?? Lol…yes I am capable of being early lol) When I walked up to the lady who was directing all the parents where to go, with a sincere smile she said “are you Bailey’s mum?” very proudly I said “yes!” She proceeded to tell me how wonderful she thought my son was and how much determination he has and that any adult that knows him thinks he is just fantastic! I started getting goosebumps and I couldn’t thank her enough for her kind words. But when she said it’s obvious he has great role models, I stopped for a mere moment and let out a sigh of relief! It was in that moment that I said to myself….the grey hairs, the wrinkles, the bad cop moments, the times when you sound like a broken record have been so worth hearing such kind words about one of my children!

But it didn’t stop there. I had Sienna’s interview first and her teacher said the same thing! Well mannered, caring, kind, pleasure to teach, tries hard, doing well….another goosebump moment! Then over to Bailey’s teacher who claimed the very same things….hard worker, great role model, mature, working above year level standard, we love having him in our class!!! I walked away on such a high!!! The children they were talking about were ours….very different from the ones we sometimes see at home lol….but they were ours!!!!

Then another goosebump moment occurred the very next day when Bailey came home and told me he had been chosen for the third year running to lay the wreath for his class during their school’s Anzac Day Parade. I was so proud of him. And finally I was able to be present for the parade today. He did such a fabulous job and like always he takes any job he is given seriously!

Then there is our littlest one. Well what can I say. She is at the ‘sponge’ age of 2 where she is taking in everything, saying any word that is asked of her, stringing words together, using her beautiful manners, telling us what to do next in the routine, learning her colours and her goosebump moment this week was when she counted past ten for the first time to twelve…fourteen and eighteen then followed but that is awesome too as she knows that teen numbers are to follow. I’m really enjoying our time together when the two bigger ones are at school, but love it even more when we are altogether!

It’s these goosebump moments that make my life so fulfilled. It makes all the sleepless nights worth it. It’s worth the pain you go through to finally be able to hold them in your arms. The tantrums, the billion times we are endured to the word no and the back chatting which I would have to say grinds my nerves the most! And even though parenting is a road full of flat, bumpy curves, with lots of ups and downs, it’s the moments that bring us to goosebumps or tears which usually accompany the bumps, that make this job the best around!

From One Term to the Next!

Posted on March 25, 2013 by natalietrew

As I sit here in the peace and quiet of my home while Mia has a nap and the two bigger kids watch a movie, I start to wonder how term 2 of school is going to play out. With the school holidays coming to an end and what a great time we’ve had, I can’t help but pray that it starts differently to term 1.

As you know, my prep baby Sienna, suffered terrible separation anxiety at the beginning of the year, but with lots of perseverance from her wonderful teacher and myself, she overcome her emotions and settled so beautifully. The worst part was over within the first two weeks, but then it took another couple of weeks for her teacher to knock down this brick wall that Sienna had tightly built around herself hindering her confidence from shining. By the middle of the term Sienna finally relaxed. Relaxed enough to let her guard down to show her teacher what she is capable of. We saw a huge difference in her at home. She was finally coming home and talking about school and all the wonderful things she was learning…it was like music to my ears!

When we reached the last day of term, I thanked Sienna’s teacher for all the hard work she had put into my daughter and we discussed how far she had come. I felt such a sense of relief that term 1 was complete! Although it was only a short term of 9 weeks, we were all ready for a holiday and to celebrate that Sienna made it through her first term of school….and came out the other end a better student!!!

We’ve had a wonderful time this school holidays. Our Easter long weekend celebrations were fantastic and the kids had a ball celebrating my birthday with me! We’ve gone for bike rides, played at parks, swam, had lunch dates and play dates with friends. We’ve laughed together, chilled together, read books, sang songs, baked and had the odd disagreement here and there, but all in all it’s been a great couple of weeks! Mia has thoroughly enjoyed having the kids home. She plays so hard with them now or should I say bosses them around while playing with them lol, she will be lost for a while when they return to school next week and so will I! I LOVE school holidays. No rushing, no lunches, no ironing uniforms, no homework. Life is cool, calm and collective…it’s like the calm before the storm (of the next term lol)!

Sienna has been pretty good these holidays. She has continued to engross herself in her love of learning which is lovely to see. She’s asked several times when are we going back to school. At first we had to go through each day how many days until school went back. I didn’t think too much about it until the other day when I said 7 days and she replied “that is ages away” I said “yes” and her response as she skipped off was “yesssss!” I instantly thought “oh no!!!”

It’s getting to the point now where I need to start counting down the sleeps with her until school starts back. I need her to be emotionally ready again to tackle another term of school. I feel that Sienna wasted half a term of her learning in term 1 and I can’t wait to see what she will be capable of once she has a full term under her belt. I think I’m worrying for nothing and I believe she will be ok, but Sienna can be unpredictable! I return to work on Monday so for the first couple of days mum will be dropping her off. So far this year she hasn’t cried with mum, it’s only me she cries with. I’m hoping she doesn’t but am expecting her to hold it together Monday and Tuesday and lose it on Wednesday with me!! I just asked her if she is looking forward to going back to school and she said “yes, I just want to go everyday and not have so many holidays!!!” We may just be onto a winner…but like always I’m always ready for the unexpected!!

I hope everyone has enjoyed the school holidays and I wish you all a successful term 2! Ours starts with parent/teacher interview on the second day and Bailey starts the term with a new teacher! I shall be thinking of all the school mums on Monday as the rush of life begins again for another 10 weeks!!!

Some pointers to assist you in term 2:
*take the time now to check all bags, lunch boxes, clothes, shoes, uniforms etc to make sure nothing needs to be replaced.
*rename or relabel if they have worn or fallen off.
*term 2 is the start of the cool weather – buy at least one jumper before school goes back and keep it in your child’s school bag incase they need it!
*on the same note, start to organise their school winter wardrobe.
*term 2 is report card term so the kids will be facing lots of assessment – allow them plenty of chances to go to bed early at night, this will help them from being super cranky after school!
*finally term 2 for me is the term where I expect the kids to do more for themselves – I allow them term 1 to really settle back to school and from term 2 my expectations go up a notch and I really focus on independence,
independence, independence!!!

To Send or Hold Back…..

Posted on March 19, 2013 by natalietrew

This week’s hot controversial topic on several a current affairs shows, is knowing when to send your children to school! Should we send our children to school as the very youngest child (at 4 and a half) or hold them back a year so they are a year older?? As a teacher and a mum, I couldn’t resist but to right a blog on this topic that is very dear to my heart and to give my two cents worth!

Is 4 and a half too young to start full time school? How long is a piece of string? There are so many variables when it comes to children and their readiness for school. As a mum of three children who are all born in the second half of the school birthday calendar year, they will always be on the younger side compared to their peers, with my middle child being born on the 30th of June…the absolute baby of the class! when I fell pregnant and realised when their birthday would be, it didn’t really phase me too much, I was more happy that none of them had to spend another year at home and they would start school like we all did the year they turned 5. Ask me now though and my opinion is some what different!

I believe age is just a number. No matter how old you are, depending on what you’ve been exposed to will depend on your level of knowledge, understanding, maturity and readiness. Genetics play a part in the physical side of growth and cognitively sometimes we are lucky to be born a genius or the complete opposite. And then there is simplicities or complexities of one’s personality which would make no difference to what order a child is – oldest or youngest!

When watching 60 minutes on Sunday night and listening to the reasoning behind why those parents held their children back, I could understand their concerns and reasoning, but I was most impressed with the mother of twins who were 4 and a half when starting prep say “let them be!” When the reporter asked “do we as parents wrap our kids up in cotton wool too much?” she simple and honestly answered “yes we do!” I really loved how she kept it real!

Create the best ‘YOU’!

Posted on March 14, 2013 by natalietrew

Last week was International Women’s Day! How did you embrace the women within you?
I was recovering from a gastro bug the kids passed on…not my finest or classiest of moments that’s for sure lol!

As a women, I think we are an extremely important part of society! Not only are we nurturing and intelligent, we are strong…I mean what man will ever be able to birth the size of a watermelon out of their sacred area?? Without women the population of the world would slowly dwindle so we ARE needed! But we are not just baby producing machines, there is so much more to us!

Just recently I’ve had several people stop me and tell me I look great considering I have three children. One lady asked me if the kids were all mine and then politely said “my you are thin!!” As flattering as it is, it makes me so frustrated and annoyed that the general stereotype for a mum is under dressed and over weight!! Why can’t us mums be fit, slim, healthy and trendy without people being so surprised about it!

Several months ago I wrote a blog called “Yes I’m a mum of three children!”, which highlights how annoyed I get by people’s ignorance when they get a shock that me, oh god forbid me, would have birthed 3 children…that’s right because a size 8 women is so incapable of that…NOT!!! Which takes me to the point of this blog! I’m fed up with people’s reactions and stereotypical attitudes towards us mums. Shouldn’t we be praised and acknowledged for being a good role model for our children? Doesn’t what we do rub off on our children and if we are leading a fit and healthy lifestyle, isn’t that a good thing to pass onto our children?

So as a fellow member of the mothering society I strongly urge you to take control! Take control of yourself and your life and create the best ‘YOU’ that you can be! If you are not happy with yourself, don’t beat yourself up about it anymore, do something about it! And I’m not solely talking about weight loss. That could be one area. You may want to build your fitness, change your eating habits or seek out a new wardrobe, if you know what it is that will help ‘YOU’ be the best ‘YOU’ can be, than start now!

TIPS to get started…
*Set your self realistic goals and keep a regular check of them! Once one goal is achieved set a new one.

*Cut out the crap! If what you want is to lose weight or get back to eating healthy, then cut out the bad food from Monday – Friday and treat yourself in moderation over the weekend! Drink plenty of water and reduce the size of your meals. I also recommend to go on a good women’s multivitamin to…I take rest and restore by Nature’s Way and highly recommend it!

*If your desire is to get fit, pick an exercise that you know you’ll be able to manage in your busy schedule and be consistent with it…like everything consistency is the key to success!

*If you need a new look, the first thing to do is to clean out your wardrobe! Get rid of what you don’t wear or doesn’t make you feel good anymore. Make a list of what you want and write down your favourite colours etc and then go shopping….maybe go through some fashion mags before you go, or just go with what’s most comfortable for you! Westfield shopping centres have stylists that you can go to now.

*Pamper yourself…make sure you make time for pampering at the hairdressers, nail saloon or massage parlour. As mums we spend our days pampering everyone, we deserve some too!

*Most importantly don’t forget about yourself! Yes it was our choice to become mothers and a mother should always put herself first before her babies, but that doesn’t mean we should let ourselves go! If we establish a really good routine at home with great organisation, then trust me there will be time for yourself!

It’s time mummas…time to shut the critics down and change the way people perceive mums! After all when us mums are FEELING our best, we are DOING our best and that is extremely important!

If you do take the plunge today to change something, please keep me posted, I’d love to follow your transformation!

The Sea is Calm….

Posted on March 6, 2013 by natalietrew

Does anyone else look back (now there children are in school) and think how life was like a constant surge of rough seas??

I do! When the kids were all at home and going from baby to toddler, toddler to a little girl or boy, then the next child would come along and go through the same growth and the next, some days felt like I was swimming in rough seas trying to keep my head above water! It was always one thing after another…teething, allergies, ear infections, common cold, gastro, terrible 2s, feral 3s, mouthy 4s, tantrums blah, blah, blah!!! Some days were so overwhelming, I look back now and wonder how I got through it…but I did!

Then before you know it you have two out of three in school and those rough seas feel like they are starting to calm! Don’t get me wrong, there are still moments of a cyclone, but then there is calm!

Calm moments are times where I like to sit back and take it all in and realise we just may have made it…for now that is lol!

All three of our kids have had a huge growth and development spurt over the last month! So many moments have happened lately where I find myself thinking…finally they are settling, finally they are getting it! It makes you feel like the consistency that has been upheld is worth every word that was spoken and repeated and repeated! The times when I felt like walking away and ignoring something was so worth the follow through that HAS to happen!

I believe as parents there are two things we HAVE to uphold and that is consistency and good role modeling! When a child is born they aren’t programmed into knowing that we don’t throw food or jump on the lounge, say no when asked to do something, use manners, pick up after themselves, speak kindly or that throwing themselves on the floor while screaming isn’t going to them what they want! It’s our role, our responsibility as their parent to model acceptable human behaviour with the up most consistency that is needed!

Working with prep age students has made me realised that a lot of the ‘good old fashioned’ parenting and values are sadly not being utilised like they always were! It seems to be now that as teachers, we have to teach so much of the SIMPLE things at school that I believe should have been taught over the 4-5 years before they start school! Imagine how much more curriculum would be taught if the majority of children came to school with the essential basic skills!! I think for some parents it all just becomes too hard…why hello, who ever said parenting was going to be easy?? It is hard. It has to be worked at everyday. It requires us as the parent to be stronger than the child and most importantly it requires us to show some tough love even if it breaks our heart to say NO, you have to keep thinking they’ll be better off in the log run!

Which leads me to my three children and how extremely proud of them we are! When Bailey came home this week with his student of the week certificate, for ‘always showing a fantastic attitude towards all aspects of his school work’, brought a tear to my eye! Not only as a teacher did this thrill me, but as his mum and knowing I played a big role in this makes me feel like the HARD work I’ve put into my boy (who has been extremely difficult) is paying off! Seeing my prep daughter becoming confident with learning to read and write makes my heart melt…again I had something to do with that! Hearing my 2 year old say ‘thank you’ mummy when I give her something and watching her function in our house like a mini adult – knowing that the back door needs to be closed before we go out and the tv needs to be turned off, without being told to, puts the hugest smile on my face!

I may have more grey hairs than ever, but who cares that’s what a good hairdresser is for lol, but the consistency that is driven, the follow through that happens, has all been worth it! I’m certainly not saying that I’m parent of the year or the perfect parent, but I do think that the fact that my sea is starting to display some calmness is from the parenting principles of consistency, follow through and good role modeling is starting to have some affect!

For us, having three kids constantly sick from chronic middle ear infections, our eldest who displays a lot of spectrum behaviour, our middle child who is allergic to diary and our baby who had silent reflux which wasn’t diagnosed until 8 months as well as glue ear, proves that we haven’t had the easiest of roads, hence why my sea has felt so rough for so long! But never once did I use any of this an excuse for my children’s behaviour. I always parent in the moment for the future…as this is what parenting is all about isn’t it, setting our children up for the brightest of futures!

We are their parents.
We are responsible for their upbringing.
We are their role model.
We are their manners.
We are their behaviour.
We are their advocate.
We are in control.
We have an extremely important job that just needs to be done!

It’s a Juggling Act!

Posted on February 21, 2013 by natalietrew

Life is just one big roller coaster – it has its ups and downs and a lot of stuff in between. Being a mum is awesome! The best job I’ve ever done. But from one child to two children and in my case three children, throw in work, a husband who works 12 hour days, kid’s sport, family, my exercise and the like, life simply becomes a juggling act!

I remember (very vaguely) life when all I had to worry about was me, myself and I! When I look back now at how simple life was compared to now, I ponder at what I did with all my spare time? How I enjoyed eating three meals a day in peace and quiet and without getting indigestion. Sleep…how well I slept and how much of it I had! How I had so many choices laid out in front of me each day as to where to go and who to see! The intimate outings with my husband and the thousands of movies we use to go see! How we use to be able to finish a conversation without taking half an hour to get to the punch line!!!

Now, life is filled with lots of love, happiness, laughter and achievement. But I’m not going to lie, life now is a whole heap harder than it ever use to be! It now requires a super amount of planning and organisation to keep things running as smooth as they can. I now appreciate any sleep I’m able to get and I eat most of the time on the run. Where I would only have to think of two people to cook dinner for, my meals now need to cater for 5! EVERYTHING has been increased from washing, to cleaning, to cooking and grocery shopping! Bills are greater and an overwhelming feeling of not being able to get everything done fades in and out like a big black cloud ready to pour on you! Add to all of this the mammoth job of parenting and you have yourself a very busy lifestyle!

This week I returned to work after having 9 weeks of holidays/long service leave. Being off for that long was pure bliss! Stress was less as everything was always done at a reasonable hour and not having to work allowed time to potter around the house rather than feeling like a raving lunatic trying to get stuff done on my days off! The time I spent with my family was quality as well as quantity and far more enjoyable than usual. But now two days a week are hectic! Getting us all organised for school/work by 7.45am, having dinner planned, relaying messages to my mum for the day, organising Bay for footy training, spending all day teaching special needs students, coming home to then having to cook dinner (usually holding a 2 year old or whinging at my feet), check homework, do the dishes, bath the kids and then get organised for my second day of work! But the beautiful homecoming I get of a shower of hugs and kisses is why I know I’m the lucky one!

I look at what I do during my two work days and appreciate that I only have to do this twice a week. Even though I’d love to be a full time stay at home mum, working two days isn’t so bad and gives a nice balance in order for me to keep up my teaching skills, contribute to our household bills and be able to stay home five out of seven days with the kids! And with my husband working such long days, me working two days a week is sufficient! I know I am very lucky to be able to have the lifestyle I do and appreciate everyday how hard my husband works for us and the huge support my family is as well!

How do I manage this juggling act? I’m always thinking, planning, organising. Having a plan for the month, week, day is how I juggle it all! I use to be a ‘list’ kinda girl. But my list always felt so long and when I got halfway through it, I would start a new one that was double in length. So now I live day to day. Where I have long term goals for the month or week, I narrow each day down now and set myself daily tasks. Since doing this, I feel things are getting done more easily and efficiently! I don’t feel as stressed as I use to and the running of the house is due to a routine that everyone can cope with! But then someone gets sick and everything goes out the window and you play battle of the survival…or in my case I have the best mother to help!

Being a mum, wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunty, teacher and friend is a hard act to juggle. I almost feel like I only scratch the surface of each act when really I love each act as much as the other! But at this stage of my life, my main act is being the best mother and wife I can be. Eventually in many years to come my life will be juggled in a different direction, but I’m certainly not wishing these years away as I believe they are the best a mum can live!

Highs and Lows!

Posted on February 12, 2013 by natalietrew

Last week I published a piece about my little preppie and separation anxiety. I’m ecstatic to announce that we have SUCCESS with no more tears and nothing but a confident happy little bunny! I feel like I can finally breathe! After starting the week terribly last week, by Thursday her tears when saying bye to me were very minimal and it was her first day at school where she didn’t shed a tear. Friday was our break through day with NO tears at all! I can’t express enough how overjoyed I am feeling right now…it took two weeks, but I have my beautiful cheerful daughter back again!!

Sienna is like a different child since the anxiety from the pit of her belly has left her precious soul. She is awesome at getting ready in the mornings now and she is relying on me less and less when doing her morning jobs at school. She is happily completing tasks at school now and as her teacher said to me “she is working like a trooper!” To say I’m proud is an understatement!!! I went into the weekend feeling completely the opposite of what I was feeling the week before and what a fabulous weekend we had! I expected the cycle to possibly start again on Monday (not at the extreme) as it was after the weekend, but she was as happy, settled and content as she was where she left off last Friday! We made it Sie Sie girl…we never gave up!

Which brings me to why I’m writing this blog. Prep is such a trying year in our little people’s lives. They have gone from going to preschool 2-3 days a week and being in the comforts of their home for the rest of the time, possibly even having a day sleep, to 6 hours a day, 5 days a week where they are learning several different curriculum areas and being asked to sit still, listen and pay attention more than they ever have in their lives! NO WONDER THEY COME HOME NEAR DELIRIOUS!

I don’t know about anyone else, but I find the first 6 months of prep the toughest. Going through prep for the second time around you’d think I’d be use to it, but I’d forgotten what the school day does to their young minds. It drains them, zaps them of all sensibility and hinders them from making rational choices! First time prep mums if you are questioning their behaviour at the moment…I promise you it does get better!!! But like everything we have to ride with the highs and lows and allow time for it to even itself out.

I describe early days prep behaviour very animal like…I mean this with absolute love when I say this! It’s like they are on the prowl just waiting for a moment of time where they can annoy someone or explode like a time bomb when things don’t go their own way. Sienna is either a weeping mess at EVERYTHING or a hyperactive hyena! Self-control is difficult at this age anyway, but at present its as worse as ever! I thought boys were bad, but geesh, god help me when Sienna goes through puberty!!!

What to do mummas?? We need to be more consistent than ever! It’s very easy for us to keep saying “but they are so tired, they just started prep!” yes, yes they did, BUT like any phase they will come out the other end and if we don’t act on their inappropriate behaviour they will store that one in their little brain files and remember that forever. I think the biggest thing at the moment is to keep life simple.
*Limit after school activities and just allow them plenty of down time.
*Bring everything forward half an hour…earlier dinner means earlier bed time.
*Allow time on the weekend for a nap in the day to help catch up on sleep.
*Stick to a strict routine…especially in the mornings and at bedtime.
*Praise, praise, praise when things are going great!
*Follow through and be consistent when things aren’t so great!
*Remember you have to be cruel to be kind!

You will feel like you are on a rollercoaster with many highs and lows over the next wee while, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. They do get use to going to school everyday and their little minds adapt to all the fabulous learning they are being exposed to. But it is up to us to be a bit flexible at the moment and provide some changes to cope with an ever-changing preppie. If we allow the things I mentioned above to happen, it will eliminate us from wanting to be put in a padded room with several bottles of wine lol!….On that note I’m off to pick up the kids from school…mmmm I wonder what mood I will strike this afternoon?:/!

To answer that question…we were an angry and grumpy little girl yesterday…today quite happy but at times hypo! I use three strikes and your out system. Three strikes and it’s bed for the night! Yesterday was 5.30 and thankfully she slept until 6am this morning! Today we only made it to strike one and her normal bedtime of 7pm…I’m sure tomorrow will be different again!

Keep strong mummas…remember we have the power to give our babies great things and the power to take great things away, now if only they would remember that!

It’s Lovely to be Loved!

Posted on February 6, 2013 by natalietrew

It’s been a week now since school resumed and a new cohort of preppies begun their journey into education! How’s your little preppie going? Loving it? Hating it? Upset? Mine…not as good as I’d hope:/

I always knew in the back of my mind that Sienna may get a little upset when leaving me. 12 months ago when she started preschool (which was the first time she’d gone anywhere) she suffered terribly from separation anxiety! Like prep, she is always happy to go, but the thought of mummy leaving her cuts to her core! But I thought she was going to settle ok. She has come so far since the first day she started preschool. She was so excited when we were buying her uniforms and essentials for prep and wanted to try it all on everyday in the week leading up to school starting. She told everyone we saw “I’m going to prep…finally I’m going to big school like Bailey!!!” This was making me confident and at ease…but I still had a feeling!

I was waiting and watching for signs in the days leading up to starting prep. But there was nothing other then positive talk and excitement…I actually started believing that maybe she was going to be ok! The first morning of school she was super excited and organised! She was up and dressed by 6.30 lol! There was no sign of distress or anxiety. We got to the school and still ok. But then between the gate and me taking Bailey to class she lost sight of me for a second and that’s when it started. The tears started to flow and “I don’t want you to leave me mummy” was what she kept telling me!

My heart sunk. I was a little surprised, but apart of me knew it was possible. But then something came over her. Once she walked into her prep room (which is like home as my nephews and Bailey were in the same class) she put on her big happy smile and was so relaxed. We did puzzles together and she waited patiently for Mrs Hollier’s instructions. But I was waiting for it…and it never came. She was fine. I left with her smiling and waving “bye mummy!” what a relief…I was so proud of her!!! When I arrived to pick her up, I asked her teacher how her day went and she said there were a few times where she was teary but not too bad… Phew! I was relieved!

The second morning was just as great. Sienna was happy to return, settled beautifully again with her smile and “see you this afternoon mummy!” Only once during the day she was emotional. I was so stoked! I actually Was letting myself relax and believe that thank god two out of two children have settled into prep with no major dramas. Then day three hit. She didn’t want to eat breakfast, getting dressed in her school uniform wasn’t as exciting and although she had another excellent drop off with no tears, she cried on and off all day;(

After lots of chatting and reassuring, I was certain Friday, her last day of her first week was going to be successful, but it was worse;( For the first time she cried when I had to leave, she cried on and off all day to the point her eye was so red when she came to greet me in the afternoon and she hardly ate all day;( I started my weekend feeling quite distressed about it all….and so different when I’m usually on the other end:/…being the teacher in this situation is so much easier I tell you!

We went away for the weekend and I let her have heaps of time where we didn’t talk about school…I just wanted to see her relaxed. Her belly must have been churning so much during the week that I felt it was important to just leave the issue alone. When I did ask her why she cried all the time, her response wasn’t because she had no friends or because she didn’t like school or her teachers, her response was “because I missed you all day!”…god bless her cotton socks! And it is just that, because every afternoon when she sees me I get the biggest kiss and cuddle and she spends the first 5-10 minutes gazing at me and is as happy as pig in mud…it really is lovely to be loved!!

Now we are in the second week, she is no better, in fact worse in some ways. Monday morning was the hardest of all. She had to be pulled from me screaming “mummy I want you, I don’t want you to go:(!…just one more kiss mummy;(!” It literally broke my heart. I shed some silent tears, but my little darling girl will never know this! It’s so important as the parent to put on our brave face, breathe deeply and walk away, even though you just want to hug them tight and sit with them until they stop crying! I was so grateful that the school rang to tell me that she had settled nicely and was having a good day…what a relief! There is nothing worse than knowing your child is away from you and feeling upset…one of the hardest parts of parenting!

Three days into the second week and she has cried every morning, but her days are becoming more and more settled. As much as it sucks that the drop off isn’t pleasant like it was with my son, I’m content that she is settling and participating socially and academically during her school day…and eating her lunch! My aim now is to not let it get to me, I will give myself a nervous break down if I think it about it too much. So now I go and do her jobs and a puzzle with her and give her one kiss and cuddle and make a quick exit…it’s the quick exit that makes the teacher’s job a lot easier! I know she is in good hands and I just have to trust that. I know she is starting to improve, at least this week she is eating her breakfast without complaining she has a belly ache:/!

Ahhh separation anxiety. It really isn’t fun for anyone involved. It’s quite common in little ones and when you think about it it’s not a bad thing, all they are doing is missing their mummy and daddy! I know exactly how Sienna feels as I suffered it as well and even now I don’t like being far from the ones I love the most! There is nothing more we can do mummas other than keep positive, encourage them to be brave and reassure, reassure, reassure. Time is the essence in this situation and they will eventually settle and learn to be ok with saying goodbye.

Everyday Sienna tells me she missed me and although I can’t wait for the day she is super excited to be at school from the minute the first bell rings, for now I will take comfort in that at least I know she loves me and it is always so lovely to be loved!

Keep strong mummas who are also going through the same situation…we can do this and it WILL get easier and one day we will look back on this as just a memory with lessons learnt:) our little ones will settle with time!

A Mother’s Guilt….

Posted on January 31, 2013 by natalietrew

Why is it, that a mother spends so much of her time feeling guilty? It’s like the minute we gave birth, a pit in the bottom of our belly wasn’t filled properly and that’s where our guilt is stored. I can’t shake the feeling of guilt this week!

As you all know my precious baby girl…who will always be my baby girl to me, started school this week. It seriously only feels like yesterday that I birthed her 10 pound 2 baby body. Where has the time gone? It just doesn’t seem right that she is already off to school! When my first baby started school, he was completely ready and to be honest so was I! Bailey and Sienna are so different. Bailey has always been quite challenging and demanding where Sienna has always been my carefree sweet little pea that has been my shining light on a dark dim day! And my third baby…a lot like her brother lol!

I’ve been questioning myself…why? I’ve done this before it should be easier!! But instead of being ok with Sienna starting school, I feel guilty that she has grown up so quickly and I feel like it’s my fault, because when Sienna was 2 and a half we had our third baby and life has been like a rollercoaster since! Bailey was lucky and had me to himself for 2 and a half years before Sienna was born and Mia will now have me to herself for three years before she goes to school…what time has Sienna had with me on her own? She was fortunate enough to have a month with me on her own before Mia was born! A month!!! And in that month I was diagnosed with a heart condition and rushed in to have our baby as we didn’t know what was going to happen!

So this week I can’t help but feel guilty for my precious middle baby. All these things have gone through my head…she didn’t ask to have a baby sister! It’s not fair she hasn’t had the time with me the other two have! She’s been lost in the process of us having a third baby!!! I know it’s crazy and I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but I just can’t help it!!! Sienna has always been so soft and gentle. She was the little girl in the playground getting pushed over and the precious little poppet who always needed to know where her mummy was and the touch of her mummies hand mad everything just super! She holds her own at home with family, but is so different from my two February babies – who I love more than life itself as well, but geesh lol!!!!

Sienna has always pulled at the heart strings. She is my emotional little bunny that cries and gets her feelings hurt quite easily and suffers separation anxiety! I am extremely proud of how she is handling prep though;) It was only twelve months ago, when I dropped her off at preschool two days a week, that she would scream for me when I left. It broke my heart, but I had to walk away as I knew she would adjust…eventually! And that she did. She has grown and matured so much over the past year. She still has a few tears when I drop her off at prep and throughout her day, but is becoming so brave and holds herself together which makes it so much easier for me to turn away and leave once I can see she is happy….I know this is pay back as I did the same thing to my mother lol…but that makes it worse because I know exactly how she feels! Her little “I missed you today mummy” will eventually pass with TIME and thankfully she has the most sweetest teacher who we all adore!

Every child is different and losing each child to their schooling years also feels different! For Bailey and I, him going to school was the best thing for our relationship and that has stayed as strong as ever, but I really miss my Sie Sie girl…and so does her baby sister! And once Mia starts prep, I would have been home with the kids for 10 years so I’m guessing I’ll be celebrating lol…but really I’ll be mourning the loss of not having anymore babies at home!

I think I’ll always have a guilty feeling when it comes to my Sie Sie girl, my middle child, my thumb sucker, my June 30th baby! But I will make sure I spend forever making it up to her, not that she even notices and this is the thing…WE as mothers spend our time agonising over things and feeling guilty when our precious little gems really couldn’t give a hoot…arrrr! lol…oh the joys of being a mum!

Dear Sienna,
I love you baby girl! From the minute you entered this world and were placed on my chest we formed a mother/daughter bond like no other. You are my shining star when it’s too dark to find my way and you sure know how to make me laugh. From a baby to a toddler you were such a good little poppet that never did any wrong by anyone. Your amazing smile lights up the room and you’ve always been so beautiful with your ringlet blonde hair and olive complexion. We are so proud of how far you’ve come and can’t wait to be apart of all your special occasions along the way! Be brave baby girl, once you settle and show your confidence, you have the potential to achieve anything you want!
Love Mummy…xoxoxo!

To all my fellow mummies who have had a child start kindy or prep this year be strong everything takes TIME!

The Gift of Time….

Posted on January 29, 2013 by natalietrew

Well it’s happened…my second child has started prep! She was excited, happy, a little nervous and even shed a few tears but by the time I left, she was all smiles and focussed ready to start her new adventure in life!

I on the other hand felt sick in the tummy for days leading up to this event, but was quite calm all morning. There was no stress as everything was organised and we were WELL on time!! Yay to that:) lol! But that moment as I walked away, I felt like I was letting go of her precious little hand that I’d held so frequently for the past 4 and a half years! I was so happy that she was happy. A year ago her preschool teacher had to untangle her screaming little soul from around my legs, so to see her content made me feel at ease. But then I it dawned on me…I couldn’t believe my Sie Sie girl was actually a school student. My life that had been with my girls for the past two years would change…now it will be just me and I my Mimi! (at this point a few tears flowed)…

So many changes in one day! My eldest baby was so cool calm and collected…obviously grade 2 is when kids start to play it cool “I’ll be right mum!”…another bit of the apron string was snipped;( I had to ask Sienna to say good bye as she was all “I’m good mum” and the eldest grandchild of our family Sebby, started high school! No wonder I’ve walked around in a complete lost daze all day!

To over come this sense of loss, Mia and I went and did some very necessary retail therapy:) I must admit that always cheers me up lol! I saw a couple of other preppie mums while I was out and about, which was quite comforting:) My first venture with just me and Mimi…mmm is that girl going to keep me on my toes and make for a long three years before she goes to prep lol…lucky she’s cute:)

Then I returned home! While I was starting to feel good about everything, I walked past the kid’s bedroom and spotted Sienna’s teddy! I couldn’t resist and had to pick it up and smell it! It was lathered in my darling girl’s sent. I was desperate to find out how she was going. I imagined her drawing, singing, laughing and having a great time just as she should have been! How these years are rolling by so fast! All I can say is cherish each and everyday you are blessed on this earth with the ones we love!

Midday came around so fast, which means one thing…Mia’s nap time! This is where I kicked my own butt back into reality! There is nothing I can do with the changes that have occurred, all I can do is embrace each moment for what it is and relish in the excitement of my children! Do I wish they would stay newborns forever – yes! Do I want them to grow old – no! But I don’t have a choice so I told myself – suck it up princess and move on!!!!

But with each new change brings something great and for me personally I’ve been given the gift of time! Now that I have two children at school, for the first time in 4 and a half years, I will only have one child at home which means I’ll have two hours a day to myself while Mia has her nap! Once I realised that, all those emotions I was left feeling quickly did a 360 turn lol only kidding! So this is what I shall embrace (until Mia drops her day sleep anyway lol) from all of this! I have big plans this year. I am hoping to be as organised as I’ve ever been within myself as a person, as a mother and as a house wife! Today is not included as I walked around for a while wondering what the hell to do as it was just soooo quiet! I’m sure I’ll get use to it though, with tomorrow being MY day one! I will have more time now to spend one-on-one time with Mia, I’ll be able to scrapbook and craft more and maybe even organise cupboards and rooms better than I have them!!

Before I knew it I was back up at the school to pick the kids up. I couldn’t wait to hear all about Sienna’s first day and how Bailey settled into grade 2. If Sie Sie came out smiling I knew it must have been a good one and alas she did! It’s that first day. Once it’s over and hopefully a great one, there maybe some bumps along the way but generally it’s all smooth sailing from there!

This one day of every child’s life is so big…do we as parents make it bigger than it needs to be?? Maybe we do, maybe we don’t! All I know is it’s a major deal and the beginning of a very long journey that I think needs to be made a fuss of! I’ve done this twice now and today was no easier than when I did it two years ago with Bailey! All I know is, that in three years time when my littlest, my baby starts school, I will be given more than the gift of time and possibly will be found in the fetal position somewhere lol!

Highlights from first day back at school….