Whatever Will I Do?!?!

From the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed at night, my day is full of busyness and endless parenting responsibilities. I feed kids, prepare them for school, fill out forms for school, make and take them to appointments. I take them to school, pick them up from school, help them with homework, cook dinner, make sure the house is clean, grocery shop, wash our clothes, get them to their extra curricular activities and teach two days a week! Each day is different with the intension of the same outcome – making sure we’re happy!

I love my life, I really do. Some days are hard, some days are simple, some days I wouldn’t want to repeat, but I truly feel blessed for what I have! I’m so use to running around like a chook with its head cut off. I’m so use to having someone hanging off me or calling out mum for the 100th time that day. There are moments where I get so tired I just want 5 minutes of peace and I do get that – at night from 7.30 when all kids are asleep that is my time of peace! And of course every kilometre I run helps me to regain and regather my thoughts to start my day. I’m so use to going and going and going I find it hard to STOP!

Then when I get the chance to stop and do something for myself, I flounder. I sit, think and wonder “what are the kids doing?!?” I wander around looking at things the kids would like. As I write this blog I’m on MY OWN on a plane to Melbourne for two hours, where I will spend the next 48 hours without one of my children in the same state as I let alone next to me. Whatever will I do?!? Mums always wish for this time and I don’t know about you but when I’m given it, I struggle to be without my children. After a day at work I can’t wait to get home to the kids!!

It’s been a while since I went away by myself, but this time I feel different and I think it’s because the kids are all that bit older. Normally I start to feel anxious the day before and the morning of leaving them. In the past I’ve almost talked myself out of doing this type of thing and it’s always my husband saying “just go and enjoy yourself!” Well there was no anxiety this time and for the first time ever I was just excited!!!!…..

I’m now back on the plane and I must say although we’ve had a fabulous weekend, I’m extremely excited to have my babies wrap their arms around me. I’ve missed their sweet little kisses and I love yous. I’ve missed the way they make me laugh and our insightful conversations. I know they’ve been loved and nurtured by their father all weekend, but I have wondered…”I wonder what the girl’s hair looks like?!?” lol!

This weekend has been a huge confidence booster for me when it comes to taking time out for myself. I never felt selfish and I didn’t feel less about myself as a mother. We are allowed to have these moments and not feel guilty and what a moment it was! The main reason for this weekend was to see Dirty Dancing. It was our birthday present from mum and dad – the best birthday present ever! The show was unbelievably amazing. Just like the movie – music, lines, costumes and all. And Johnny…well lets just say we had Hungry Eyes for him!

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After the show we went to the crown casino and ate the most amazing buffet. 2 hours of food, chatting and laughing – what more could a girl want and with the most amazing women…my mum, sisters and aunty. No one had any luck on the gambling side, but that’s ok:)!

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This morning we were up and out early so we could head back into the city to compete in the Run for Kids 5.4km race. I’ve been running for 3 and a half years now and this was my first official event. My aim was to run 5k in sub 24 minutes. This was no easy feat as I battled hundreds and hundreds of people, prams, scooters, bottle neck hills and drink stations, but to my excitement I reached 5km in 23.56 and ran the total course of 5.4km in 24.42…what a thrill!!!! This run also brought home how lucky I am to have 3 healthy children. Many people competed in this event today to honour their loved ones. It was quite emotional seeing photos and dates printed on their shirts in remembrance of their babies.

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Our last stop for the day was the always famous Queen Victoria Markets. I must say they aren’t as good as they use to be and I only walked away with a bracelet and something for the kids…my favourite part was my corn on the cob:/ Next Melbourne trip WILL involve a lot more shopping:)

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Melbourne is a great place to visit and we were able to see quite a bit of the city this weekend. I’ve been many times, but it’s always great to see new places and try new things. And of course the main reason we go is to see my beautiful sister and her family. It’s always great to see them as it’s been quite a while since we have! And to top the weekend off the weather was amazing! Cold mornings and nights but sun shining days!

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As I’m half an hour off landing I will enjoy this last moment of time to myself. It has been nice to sleep more peacefully, toilet and shower without anyone barging in, finish a conversation and eat without getting indigestion. It’s been a full on start to this year and this weekend is something I’ve needed to recoup and move forward. I’m all of that now and with only 2 weeks until school holidays I’m ready – lets do this babies and then we have 2 weeks together!

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A Mother’s Guilt….

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Why is it, that a mother spends so much of her time feeling guilty? It’s like the minute we gave birth, a pit in the bottom of our belly wasn’t filled properly and that’s where our guilt is stored. I can’t shake the feeling of guilt this week!

As you all know my precious baby girl…who will always be my baby girl to me, started school this week. It seriously only feels like yesterday that I birthed her 10 pound 2 baby body. Where has the time gone? It just doesn’t seem right that she is already off to school! When my first baby started school, he was completely ready and to be honest so was I! Bailey and Sienna are so different. Bailey has always been quite challenging and demanding where Sienna has always been my carefree sweet little pea that has been my shining light on a dark dim day! And my third baby…a lot like her brother lol!

I’ve been questioning myself…why? I’ve done this before it should be easier!! But instead of being ok with Sienna starting school, I feel guilty that she has grown up so quickly and I feel like it’s my fault, because when Sienna was 2 and a half we had our third baby and life has been like a rollercoaster since! Bailey was lucky and had me to himself for 2 and a half years before Sienna was born and Mia will now have me to herself for three years before she goes to school…what time has Sienna had with me on her own? She was fortunate enough to have a month with me on her own before Mia was born! A month!!! And in that month I was diagnosed with a heart condition and rushed in to have our baby as we didn’t know what was going to happen!

So this week I can’t help but feel guilty for my precious middle baby. All these things have gone through my head…she didn’t ask to have a baby sister! It’s not fair she hasn’t had the time with me the other two have! She’s been lost in the process of us having a third baby!!! I know it’s crazy and I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but I just can’t help it!!! Sienna has always been so soft and gentle. She was the little girl in the playground getting pushed over and the precious little poppet who always needed to know where her mummy was and the touch of her mummies hand mad everything just super! She holds her own at home with family, but is so different from my two February babies – who I love more than life itself as well, but geesh lol!!!!

Sienna has always pulled at the heart strings. She is my emotional little bunny that cries and gets her feelings hurt quite easily and suffers separation anxiety! I am extremely proud of how she is handling prep though;) It was only twelve months ago, when I dropped her off at preschool two days a week, that she would scream for me when I left. It broke my heart, but I had to walk away as I knew she would adjust…eventually! And that she did. She has grown and matured so much over the past year. She still has a few tears when I drop her off at prep and throughout her day, but is becoming so brave and holds herself together which makes it so much easier for me to turn away and leave once I can see she is happy….I know this is pay back as I did the same thing to my mother lol…but that makes it worse because I know exactly how she feels! Her little “I missed you today mummy” will eventually pass with TIME and thankfully she has the most sweetest teacher who we all adore!

Every child is different and losing each child to their schooling years also feels different! For Bailey and I, him going to school was the best thing for our relationship and that has stayed as strong as ever, but I really miss my Sie Sie girl…and so does her baby sister! And once Mia starts prep, I would have been home with the kids for 10 years so I’m guessing I’ll be celebrating lol…but really I’ll be mourning the loss of not having anymore babies at home!

I think I’ll always have a guilty feeling when it comes to my Sie Sie girl, my middle child, my thumb sucker, my June 30th baby! But I will make sure I spend forever making it up to her, not that she even notices and this is the thing…WE as mothers spend our time agonising over things and feeling guilty when our precious little gems really couldn’t give a hoot…arrrr! lol…oh the joys of being a mum!

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Dear Sienna,
I love you baby girl! From the minute you entered this world and were placed on my chest we formed a mother/daughter bond like no other. You are my shining star when it’s too dark to find my way and you sure know how to make me laugh. From a baby to a toddler you were such a good little poppet that never did any wrong by anyone. Your amazing smile lights up the room and you’ve always been so beautiful with your ringlet blonde hair and olive complexion. We are so proud of how far you’ve come and can’t wait to be apart of all your special occasions along the way! Be brave baby girl, once you settle and show your confidence, you have the potential to achieve anything you want!
Love Mummy…xoxoxo!

To all my fellow mummies who have had a child start kindy or prep this year be strong everything takes TIME!

Spring Holiday Highlights!

My goodness this year has flown, a week has already passed since the school holidays and before we know it we will be time to farewell another school year!

The September school holidays are usually my favourite for the year. The weather is normally pleasant which leaves plenty of opportunity to do a variety of activities. These holidays proved to be a little more challenging as I spent most of the time on my own as my husband either worked really long hours or was away! But we managed to do lots of fun things and create beautiful memories that we’ll cherish forever!

This is what we got up to:

A play at Chipmunks

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Drawing

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A trip to town on the train

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Goma & Museum

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Southbank

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Reading

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Bike riding to the park

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Baking

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Playing it cool

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Riverheart

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Swimming lessons

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Beach

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Swim at Nanny and Poppy’s

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As you can see we had lots of fun! This mumma was sure buggered by the end of it, but considering we were so busy, I was the most rested I’d felt in a log time and when I returned back to work this week I was actually ready to go back….now that is definitely a first lol!

Our Toy Room Facelift!

It’s only taken 6 and a half years of being a mum and I finally have an organised and functional toy room! This room has been our toy room for about 4 and half years now but it’s the best it has ever looked after its recent facelift!

Having only 3 bedrooms and 5 of us, it doesn’t leave a lot of room in the kid’s rooms for toys, but fortunately enough having an extra living area the kids can have a room where they can relax, play, read and watch tv!

This room is not a massive space, but big enough for the kids to spread out on the floor and play the Wii. Over the years my problem was not having the right storage. The kids have always been happy with how it was, but now they love it….and so do I!

The before shots:…….

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While it was always easy access for the kids to grab their toys, I was so sick of how untidy the open shelves looked, so I added to the Ikea’s range of expedits that I already had! This has made a huge difference! Between adding in an extra lot of boxed shelving, a new television, some bright cushions and a revamp of some photos and frames, the room is exactly how I’ve envisioned it to be for a very long time! It was a much bigger job than expected. Just going through all the toys took ages!!! The kids were so great though. They got rid of what they don’t play with anymore and were more than happy to donate them:)

This is how it looks now:…..

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I love my new expedit…put together all by myself! Everything is all organised into categories or by child! So far the kids have coped well with knowing what goes where (helped by letting them help me organise it all)!

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Our original expedit came in handy for a television unit. It fits all the DVDs and controllers nicely!

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Cushions and rugs are from Ikea….perfect amount of colour that was needed!

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The kids table and chairs many years old now, but also from Ikea:)

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Neat, tidy and plenty of space to spread out!

It’s the personal touches this room now has that makes it meaningful to our home that we have created for our party of 5…..

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A plain lamp bought from Ikea and decorated by myself with the kid’s names on it!

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These photo blocks were bought for Bailey when he was a baby….now I have 3 babies they are perfect to finally use – Mia loves them!!!

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These three photos chosen depict each of our children’s personalities and shows off how adorable they are:)

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I love our recent family portraits. Even though they are almost a year old, I love them more everyday! I made these on small canvases and think they look lovely sitting on my Ikea shelf….this shelf has been used by the kids for years to roll their cars down, now I’m finally utilising it:)

It’s nice for the kids to have their own living space which is right now ours, so they still feel safe and secure when they are doing their own thing! I’m really happy with how the toy room turned out and am especially happy that I only spent just over $500 to get it looking how it is….thanks to Ikea and Big W. Like I said it was a massive job, but I know the kids will appreciate it for many many years to come:)!

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