The Sea is Calm….

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Does anyone else look back (now there children are in school) and think how life was like a constant surge of rough seas??

I do! When the kids were all at home and going from baby to toddler, toddler to a little girl or boy, then the next child would come along and go through the same growth and the next, some days felt like I was swimming in rough seas trying to keep my head above water! It was always one thing after another…teething, allergies, ear infections, common cold, gastro, terrible 2s, feral 3s, mouthy 4s, tantrums blah, blah, blah!!! Some days were so overwhelming, I look back now and wonder how I got through it…but I did!

Then before you know it you have two out of three in school and those rough seas feel like they are starting to calm! Don’t get me wrong, there are still moments of a cyclone, but then there is calm!

Calm moments are times where I like to sit back and take it all in and realise we just may have made it…for now that is lol!

All three of our kids have had a huge growth and development spurt over the last month! So many moments have happened lately where I find myself thinking…finally they are settling, finally they are getting it! It makes you feel like the consistency that has been upheld is worth every word that was spoken and repeated and repeated! The times when I felt like walking away and ignoring something was so worth the follow through that HAS to happen!

I believe as parents there are two things we HAVE to uphold and that is consistency and good role modeling! When a child is born they aren’t programmed into knowing that we don’t throw food or jump on the lounge, say no when asked to do something, use manners, pick up after themselves, speak kindly or that throwing themselves on the floor while screaming isn’t going to them what they want! It’s our role, our responsibility as their parent to model acceptable human behaviour with the up most consistency that is needed!

Working with prep age students has made me realised that a lot of the ‘good old fashioned’ parenting and values are sadly not being utilised like they always were! It seems to be now that as teachers, we have to teach so much of the SIMPLE things at school that I believe should have been taught over the 4-5 years before they start school! Imagine how much more curriculum would be taught if the majority of children came to school with the essential basic skills!! I think for some parents it all just becomes too hard…why hello, who ever said parenting was going to be easy?? It is hard. It has to be worked at everyday. It requires us as the parent to be stronger than the child and most importantly it requires us to show some tough love even if it breaks our heart to say NO, you have to keep thinking they’ll be better off in the log run!

Which leads me to my three children and how extremely proud of them we are! When Bailey came home this week with his student of the week certificate, for ‘always showing a fantastic attitude towards all aspects of his school work’, brought a tear to my eye! Not only as a teacher did this thrill me, but as his mum and knowing I played a big role in this makes me feel like the HARD work I’ve put into my boy (who has been extremely difficult) is paying off! Seeing my prep daughter becoming confident with learning to read and write makes my heart melt…again I had something to do with that! Hearing my 2 year old say ‘thank you’ mummy when I give her something and watching her function in our house like a mini adult – knowing that the back door needs to be closed before we go out and the tv needs to be turned off, without being told to, puts the hugest smile on my face!

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I may have more grey hairs than ever, but who cares that’s what a good hairdresser is for lol, but the consistency that is driven, the follow through that happens, has all been worth it! I’m certainly not saying that I’m parent of the year or the perfect parent, but I do think that the fact that my sea is starting to display some calmness is from the parenting principles of consistency, follow through and good role modeling is starting to have some affect!

For us, having three kids constantly sick from chronic middle ear infections, our eldest who displays a lot of spectrum behaviour, our middle child who is allergic to diary and our baby who had silent reflux which wasn’t diagnosed until 8 months as well as glue ear, proves that we haven’t had the easiest of roads, hence why my sea has felt so rough for so long! But never once did I use any of this an excuse for my children’s behaviour. I always parent in the moment for the future…as this is what parenting is all about isn’t it, setting our children up for the brightest of futures!

We are their parents.
We are responsible for their upbringing.
We are their role model.
We are their manners.
We are their behaviour.
We are their advocate.
We are in control.
We have an extremely important job that just needs to be done!

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