It’s a Juggling Act!

Posted on February 21, 2013 by natalietrew

Life is just one big roller coaster – it has its ups and downs and a lot of stuff in between. Being a mum is awesome! The best job I’ve ever done. But from one child to two children and in my case three children, throw in work, a husband who works 12 hour days, kid’s sport, family, my exercise and the like, life simply becomes a juggling act!

I remember (very vaguely) life when all I had to worry about was me, myself and I! When I look back now at how simple life was compared to now, I ponder at what I did with all my spare time? How I enjoyed eating three meals a day in peace and quiet and without getting indigestion. Sleep…how well I slept and how much of it I had! How I had so many choices laid out in front of me each day as to where to go and who to see! The intimate outings with my husband and the thousands of movies we use to go see! How we use to be able to finish a conversation without taking half an hour to get to the punch line!!!

Now, life is filled with lots of love, happiness, laughter and achievement. But I’m not going to lie, life now is a whole heap harder than it ever use to be! It now requires a super amount of planning and organisation to keep things running as smooth as they can. I now appreciate any sleep I’m able to get and I eat most of the time on the run. Where I would only have to think of two people to cook dinner for, my meals now need to cater for 5! EVERYTHING has been increased from washing, to cleaning, to cooking and grocery shopping! Bills are greater and an overwhelming feeling of not being able to get everything done fades in and out like a big black cloud ready to pour on you! Add to all of this the mammoth job of parenting and you have yourself a very busy lifestyle!

This week I returned to work after having 9 weeks of holidays/long service leave. Being off for that long was pure bliss! Stress was less as everything was always done at a reasonable hour and not having to work allowed time to potter around the house rather than feeling like a raving lunatic trying to get stuff done on my days off! The time I spent with my family was quality as well as quantity and far more enjoyable than usual. But now two days a week are hectic! Getting us all organised for school/work by 7.45am, having dinner planned, relaying messages to my mum for the day, organising Bay for footy training, spending all day teaching special needs students, coming home to then having to cook dinner (usually holding a 2 year old or whinging at my feet), check homework, do the dishes, bath the kids and then get organised for my second day of work! But the beautiful homecoming I get of a shower of hugs and kisses is why I know I’m the lucky one!

I look at what I do during my two work days and appreciate that I only have to do this twice a week. Even though I’d love to be a full time stay at home mum, working two days isn’t so bad and gives a nice balance in order for me to keep up my teaching skills, contribute to our household bills and be able to stay home five out of seven days with the kids! And with my husband working such long days, me working two days a week is sufficient! I know I am very lucky to be able to have the lifestyle I do and appreciate everyday how hard my husband works for us and the huge support my family is as well!

How do I manage this juggling act? I’m always thinking, planning, organising. Having a plan for the month, week, day is how I juggle it all! I use to be a ‘list’ kinda girl. But my list always felt so long and when I got halfway through it, I would start a new one that was double in length. So now I live day to day. Where I have long term goals for the month or week, I narrow each day down now and set myself daily tasks. Since doing this, I feel things are getting done more easily and efficiently! I don’t feel as stressed as I use to and the running of the house is due to a routine that everyone can cope with! But then someone gets sick and everything goes out the window and you play battle of the survival…or in my case I have the best mother to help!

Being a mum, wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunty, teacher and friend is a hard act to juggle. I almost feel like I only scratch the surface of each act when really I love each act as much as the other! But at this stage of my life, my main act is being the best mother and wife I can be. Eventually in many years to come my life will be juggled in a different direction, but I’m certainly not wishing these years away as I believe they are the best a mum can live!

It’s Lovely to be Loved!

Posted on February 6, 2013 by natalietrew

It’s been a week now since school resumed and a new cohort of preppies begun their journey into education! How’s your little preppie going? Loving it? Hating it? Upset? Mine…not as good as I’d hope:/

I always knew in the back of my mind that Sienna may get a little upset when leaving me. 12 months ago when she started preschool (which was the first time she’d gone anywhere) she suffered terribly from separation anxiety! Like prep, she is always happy to go, but the thought of mummy leaving her cuts to her core! But I thought she was going to settle ok. She has come so far since the first day she started preschool. She was so excited when we were buying her uniforms and essentials for prep and wanted to try it all on everyday in the week leading up to school starting. She told everyone we saw “I’m going to prep…finally I’m going to big school like Bailey!!!” This was making me confident and at ease…but I still had a feeling!

I was waiting and watching for signs in the days leading up to starting prep. But there was nothing other then positive talk and excitement…I actually started believing that maybe she was going to be ok! The first morning of school she was super excited and organised! She was up and dressed by 6.30 lol! There was no sign of distress or anxiety. We got to the school and still ok. But then between the gate and me taking Bailey to class she lost sight of me for a second and that’s when it started. The tears started to flow and “I don’t want you to leave me mummy” was what she kept telling me!

My heart sunk. I was a little surprised, but apart of me knew it was possible. But then something came over her. Once she walked into her prep room (which is like home as my nephews and Bailey were in the same class) she put on her big happy smile and was so relaxed. We did puzzles together and she waited patiently for Mrs Hollier’s instructions. But I was waiting for it…and it never came. She was fine. I left with her smiling and waving “bye mummy!” what a relief…I was so proud of her!!! When I arrived to pick her up, I asked her teacher how her day went and she said there were a few times where she was teary but not too bad… Phew! I was relieved!

The second morning was just as great. Sienna was happy to return, settled beautifully again with her smile and “see you this afternoon mummy!” Only once during the day she was emotional. I was so stoked! I actually Was letting myself relax and believe that thank god two out of two children have settled into prep with no major dramas. Then day three hit. She didn’t want to eat breakfast, getting dressed in her school uniform wasn’t as exciting and although she had another excellent drop off with no tears, she cried on and off all day;(

After lots of chatting and reassuring, I was certain Friday, her last day of her first week was going to be successful, but it was worse;( For the first time she cried when I had to leave, she cried on and off all day to the point her eye was so red when she came to greet me in the afternoon and she hardly ate all day;( I started my weekend feeling quite distressed about it all….and so different when I’m usually on the other end:/…being the teacher in this situation is so much easier I tell you!

We went away for the weekend and I let her have heaps of time where we didn’t talk about school…I just wanted to see her relaxed. Her belly must have been churning so much during the week that I felt it was important to just leave the issue alone. When I did ask her why she cried all the time, her response wasn’t because she had no friends or because she didn’t like school or her teachers, her response was “because I missed you all day!”…god bless her cotton socks! And it is just that, because every afternoon when she sees me I get the biggest kiss and cuddle and she spends the first 5-10 minutes gazing at me and is as happy as pig in mud…it really is lovely to be loved!!

Now we are in the second week, she is no better, in fact worse in some ways. Monday morning was the hardest of all. She had to be pulled from me screaming “mummy I want you, I don’t want you to go:(!…just one more kiss mummy;(!” It literally broke my heart. I shed some silent tears, but my little darling girl will never know this! It’s so important as the parent to put on our brave face, breathe deeply and walk away, even though you just want to hug them tight and sit with them until they stop crying! I was so grateful that the school rang to tell me that she had settled nicely and was having a good day…what a relief! There is nothing worse than knowing your child is away from you and feeling upset…one of the hardest parts of parenting!

Three days into the second week and she has cried every morning, but her days are becoming more and more settled. As much as it sucks that the drop off isn’t pleasant like it was with my son, I’m content that she is settling and participating socially and academically during her school day…and eating her lunch! My aim now is to not let it get to me, I will give myself a nervous break down if I think it about it too much. So now I go and do her jobs and a puzzle with her and give her one kiss and cuddle and make a quick exit…it’s the quick exit that makes the teacher’s job a lot easier! I know she is in good hands and I just have to trust that. I know she is starting to improve, at least this week she is eating her breakfast without complaining she has a belly ache:/!

Ahhh separation anxiety. It really isn’t fun for anyone involved. It’s quite common in little ones and when you think about it it’s not a bad thing, all they are doing is missing their mummy and daddy! I know exactly how Sienna feels as I suffered it as well and even now I don’t like being far from the ones I love the most! There is nothing more we can do mummas other than keep positive, encourage them to be brave and reassure, reassure, reassure. Time is the essence in this situation and they will eventually settle and learn to be ok with saying goodbye.

Everyday Sienna tells me she missed me and although I can’t wait for the day she is super excited to be at school from the minute the first bell rings, for now I will take comfort in that at least I know she loves me and it is always so lovely to be loved!

Keep strong mummas who are also going through the same situation…we can do this and it WILL get easier and one day we will look back on this as just a memory with lessons learnt:) our little ones will settle with time!

The Gift of Time….

Posted on January 29, 2013 by natalietrew

Well it’s happened…my second child has started prep! She was excited, happy, a little nervous and even shed a few tears but by the time I left, she was all smiles and focussed ready to start her new adventure in life!

I on the other hand felt sick in the tummy for days leading up to this event, but was quite calm all morning. There was no stress as everything was organised and we were WELL on time!! Yay to that:) lol! But that moment as I walked away, I felt like I was letting go of her precious little hand that I’d held so frequently for the past 4 and a half years! I was so happy that she was happy. A year ago her preschool teacher had to untangle her screaming little soul from around my legs, so to see her content made me feel at ease. But then I it dawned on me…I couldn’t believe my Sie Sie girl was actually a school student. My life that had been with my girls for the past two years would change…now it will be just me and I my Mimi! (at this point a few tears flowed)…

So many changes in one day! My eldest baby was so cool calm and collected…obviously grade 2 is when kids start to play it cool “I’ll be right mum!”…another bit of the apron string was snipped;( I had to ask Sienna to say good bye as she was all “I’m good mum” and the eldest grandchild of our family Sebby, started high school! No wonder I’ve walked around in a complete lost daze all day!

To over come this sense of loss, Mia and I went and did some very necessary retail therapy:) I must admit that always cheers me up lol! I saw a couple of other preppie mums while I was out and about, which was quite comforting:) My first venture with just me and Mimi…mmm is that girl going to keep me on my toes and make for a long three years before she goes to prep lol…lucky she’s cute:)

Then I returned home! While I was starting to feel good about everything, I walked past the kid’s bedroom and spotted Sienna’s teddy! I couldn’t resist and had to pick it up and smell it! It was lathered in my darling girl’s sent. I was desperate to find out how she was going. I imagined her drawing, singing, laughing and having a great time just as she should have been! How these years are rolling by so fast! All I can say is cherish each and everyday you are blessed on this earth with the ones we love!

Midday came around so fast, which means one thing…Mia’s nap time! This is where I kicked my own butt back into reality! There is nothing I can do with the changes that have occurred, all I can do is embrace each moment for what it is and relish in the excitement of my children! Do I wish they would stay newborns forever – yes! Do I want them to grow old – no! But I don’t have a choice so I told myself – suck it up princess and move on!!!!

But with each new change brings something great and for me personally I’ve been given the gift of time! Now that I have two children at school, for the first time in 4 and a half years, I will only have one child at home which means I’ll have two hours a day to myself while Mia has her nap! Once I realised that, all those emotions I was left feeling quickly did a 360 turn lol only kidding! So this is what I shall embrace (until Mia drops her day sleep anyway lol) from all of this! I have big plans this year. I am hoping to be as organised as I’ve ever been within myself as a person, as a mother and as a house wife! Today is not included as I walked around for a while wondering what the hell to do as it was just soooo quiet! I’m sure I’ll get use to it though, with tomorrow being MY day one! I will have more time now to spend one-on-one time with Mia, I’ll be able to scrapbook and craft more and maybe even organise cupboards and rooms better than I have them!!

Before I knew it I was back up at the school to pick the kids up. I couldn’t wait to hear all about Sienna’s first day and how Bailey settled into grade 2. If Sie Sie came out smiling I knew it must have been a good one and alas she did! It’s that first day. Once it’s over and hopefully a great one, there maybe some bumps along the way but generally it’s all smooth sailing from there!

This one day of every child’s life is so big…do we as parents make it bigger than it needs to be?? Maybe we do, maybe we don’t! All I know is it’s a major deal and the beginning of a very long journey that I think needs to be made a fuss of! I’ve done this twice now and today was no easier than when I did it two years ago with Bailey! All I know is, that in three years time when my littlest, my baby starts school, I will be given more than the gift of time and possibly will be found in the fetal position somewhere lol!

Highlights from first day back at school….

Techno World!

Posted on January 20, 2013 by natalietrew

My how times have changed! Growing up in the 80s we played outside in the cubby house, rode our bikes everywhere, lived on our swing set and would only watch tv at 4pm when play school was on! Now there are kids television shows on from dusk till dawn, they have a variety of remotes from an xbox, Wii or play station at their fingertips, which if allowed would take up most of their day so very little time spent playing outside in the glorious sunshine!

I’m the first to admit that we own most of the things mentioned above, but I’ve also made strict rules on when they can be used and how long for! Prior to these school holidays the only thing my children really enjoyed doing was watching tv r playing the iPad. We’ve had an Xbox for a couple of years now and recently was given a Wii, but the kids hardly showed any interest in them so there wasn’t any need for strict rules to be in place! Well things have changed! Bailey has discovered the Xbox!!!!

Our usual at home play routine would be drawing/craft, lego, construction type stuff in the mornings and then in the afternoon would be the trampoline, swing set, cubby house or going for a bike or scooter ride! They watch tv mostly first thing when they wake up and when Mia is having her day sleep. We go out a far bit in the mornings whether it’s to the beach, theme parks or playgrounds and if we swim at mum and dad’s, it’s usually in the afternoons! The Xbox was hardly spoken about, in fact it would go days sometimes without being played! The kids like to play the iPad and occasionally will have a turn on the laptop! They both have iPods and enjoy listening to music or playing games on them too!

Now I know what you’re thinking…we’re the ones who buy these things for them! Correct! We live in a world now that is dominated by technology and I think we are hindering our children if we don’t expose them to it. BUT I am also a firm believer that our kids should be exposed to all things great and small! We may allow our children to have the technology in our home, but that certainly doesn’t prevent our children from playing outside in the fresh air and sunlight….I make sure this happens!

Before now it didn’t really bother me too much as I was happy that our children spent plenty of time away from technology, but since Bailey has become obsessed with the Xbox, I see what it can do to their little minds! He’s gone from this happy boy who usually asks me a week in advance where we’re going and what we’re doing, to declining a visit to nanny and poppy’s for a swim (which he never does)! He gets frustrsted when something doesn’t go right on the game and if he’s really engrossed in what he’s doing and he’s asked to have a shower, the monster rares his ugly head!! I don’t think so son…it’s time mean mumma steps in!

This has happened just in a short space of time. As soon as I noticed these things happening I put rules in place. Now, the Xbox can only be played for 1 hour at a time morning and afternoon. Never before breakfast or after dinner and once back to school never before school or never before homework is done and never after his shower! I guess the saying goes you have to be cruel to be kind! When Bailey was told his time was up this afternoon, he carried on “I just need to finish this section mum!” I gave him a warning and he still carried on, so he is banned from playing the Xbox tomorrow. This parenting gig was never meant to be easy! But I’m not here to make sure my children want to be best friends with me, as parents it’s our job to create an environment for our children to hopefully become well rounded, respectful and responsible human beings!

I’m the first to admit I’d be lost without my iPhone and iPad, but I’m still and always will be an outdoors kinda girl and I know how to have a balance life between both! And as they say children can become products of their parents! If we spent all day in front of technology, then what right have we got to say to our children “go outside and play you’ve been sitting in front of that for long enough!” We also need to set an example!

I guess like anything it’s about being able to find a balance, which is what we had going so nicely up until this week…surely it’s a phase and we’ll jump over this hurdle like all the other ones that have been put in our path! It’s already pretty scary how advanced technology is today compared to even when I went to high school…gosh I remember green monitors and typewriters lol! But to be successful with our jobs and so forth in the future, it is important to expose our children to technology but to also still expose them to the wonderful world of free play! Because no technology will ever be able to replace dress ups, make believe mummies and daddies and of course making home made mud pies or your regular game of backyard footy or cricket!

Back To School!

Posted on January 16, 2013 by natalietrew

Almost 5 weeks out of 6 are already gone for the summer school holidays! I don’t know about you, but they have flown by!!! They really have been awesome though! The weather has been sensational and we’ve managed to squeeze in almost everything from the beach, movies, theme parks, play dates and swimming…did I mention swimming!!! I’m sure my kids must be water logged by now! And of course this time of year is always spent the best with family and friends!

But as the holidays draw closer to finishing, there is so much to think about and the hottest topic on most mum’s lips at the moment is back to school! Are you organised? Have you started? For some they’ll be old hats at the back to school schedule but for others they could be entering a whole new world! I’m an old hat now, with my son starting grade 2, but my daughter is about to be a little preppie!!!

Even though I’ve done this before I always feel a sense of anxiety in the pit of my stomach when my children start prep…I just want everything to be perfect for my poppet so she feels safe, comfortable, happy and relaxed! I was like this with Bailey and worse as he was my first at this whole school mum thing! But last year when he started year 1 I was fine and now starting year 2 even more fine!! It’s the prep year that pulls at the heart strings…and anxiety ones lol! I’m happy to say I’ve just about organised everything! Just a school hat for Bailey once the uniform shop opens next week, a library bag for Sienna and hair cuts each and the kids will be all good to go for another school year!

So what is the back to school essentials on everyone’s list?

This is what mine are…..

*Uniform….shirt, shorts/skorts, dress shoes, sports shoes, socks and a hat!
Most of this stuff can be purchased from the school’s uniform shop. I always purchase the school shirts and hats from the uniform shop, but the shorts/skorts I always purchase at Best and Less or Big W along with the socks and track suit for winter.

Brings happy tears to my eyes to see my little girl all ready for prep!

*Bag….something not to small that very little will fit or not too big that it weighs them down and a backpack I think is the way to go!

*Lunch time…lunchbox, food containers, ice block and water bottles are my four essentials.
I always go through a trial run with the kids to make sure they can manage opening all of their own things as well!

*Labels….I label everything and if a label won’t stick I’ll use a marker to write their name! Too many times things go missing around a school yard and if it’s clearly labeled then the chance of it being found is greater!

*Library bag….as long as it has a draw string that can be closed tight so their library bag doesn’t fall out if tipped upside down!

*Hair clips for girls…I have a friend on Facebook that has her own business called Candie Clips who custom makes school clips in the school colours. They are gorgeous and so reasonably price. Sienna’s pack cost me $22 with postage!

*Front Pouch…in the front pouch of my children’s backpack I always include a zip lock bag with a couple of spare pairs of undies and socks and I also include in the pouch a raincoat!

At Runcorn Heights, they have a policy until grade 3 where all stationery is provided by the school at a cost to each family. It certainly takes the pressure off of having to cover and label every piece of equipment…I’ll have the pleasure of doing that for the first time next year!

Once everything is purchased, we always have a trial run or should I say dress rehearsal to make sure everything is ok, fits nicely and feels comfortable! We did that today:) The kids were so excited. It brought me back to when I would start each school year! I loved new things. New socks, new shoes, new bag! And Now that I’m a teacher I still love the beginning of a new school year…now it means a new diary, pens, notebooks and just a whole new beginning!

All ready for grade 2…although by his size he looks like he should be in grade 4 lol!

My little big girl ready to take on the world of Prep!

So on that note I’d like to wish everyone a wonderful and successful school year for 2013. I get to start my working school year on 3 weeks long service leave so I can be there for my preppie while she settles in! Enjoy the remaining time of the school holidays, I’m having a ball with my babies and will continue to enjoy them as life will be different for me only having one child at home now! Good luck to all the preppies starting school and all the mums (be strong) and new school mums! Being a school mum is great…lots of social gatherings and relishing in our children as a community!

They’ll be back to school before we know it!

The Year of Independence!

Posted on January 13, 2013 by natalietrew

When a new year begins I often just sit and gaze at my children while they are enjoying a splash in the pool on a hot summers day and think about what I’d like to see for them throughout the year. I guess you could call it new year resolutions for the young:) In past years I’ve concentrated on things like following an instruction straightaway, cleaning up their toys before they go onto something else or little things like put your pjs on your bed when you get dressed in the morning or take your plate to the kitchen when finished. All these little things when chipped away at, leads to the molding of a respectable and responsible little human being!

I’m quite happy with where my children are presently at! They are capable of so many more things now that they are getting older and it’s nice that there are a few of us now to pitch in and help when it’s needed! Even though they are almost 7, 2 and four and a half, they are all becoming helpful in one way or another! The success of this I believe is consistency. For anything to work, it has to be consistently practiced and from a young age, otherwise it just doesn’t sink in!

Just recently my two eldest children have really discovered the benefit of money and love receiving it for gifts! But of course once it’s spent they want more! So I thought it was time, time for the two little words I have been waiting to use until the time is right…pocket money! When I mentioned to them that they could earn pocket money by being responsible for certain things around the house, they were super excited and listened attentively while I explained that we go out to work to earn money and that is how pocket money works.

Each child has been given 5 jobs that I know they are capable to do. This was done by negotiation between myself and the child. Most jobs are daily ones that are a huge help to the running of our home. At the end of the week, if they have done their jobs well and consistently without any complaining, they get $5 (basically $1 per job)! They asked what they were allowed to spend their money on…my reply was something specific that they need wanted or needed. They are always saying I need new shoes or I need a new skate board. Now they can learn the art of saving for things they want or need!

Jobs chart that reminds them what they need to do to earn their money:)

It’s day 3 and so far so good. All I have to say is “Bailey or Sienna you need to do your job!” and they ask which one and do it! I’ve had the occasional whine and all I’ve said is “a dollar will be taken away if you don’t do your job properly!” and they soon change their tune! My aim of this is to create independence and responsibility around the running of a home. At this stage I don’t expect them to be cooking dinner or even doing the dishes yet, but it’s never too early to create independence in a child.

Right from when my children start toddling I start teaching them to pack their toys away, get the stuff to change their nappy or get a cup or plate out of the cupboard. By the time my kids are one they are usually pretty good with their receptive skills and can follow a command quite well. Again it’s the consistency in this practice that makes it a success. For Mia this year her independence will come from toilet training. She is about to turn 2 next month and is coming along so well with both her receptive and expressive language, so at some stage between now and mid year I’d love to think she will be toilet trained.

2 is the perfect age for establishing independence with feeding themselves and helping with odd things around the house. Mia loves helping (sometimes too much lol) and of course it’s so important to praise them when they do! Even my two older children thrive on praise. Bailey asked “when we do our job well do we get extra money?”…my response “no mate I’ll praise you and give you a high 5!”…his response his beautiful little grin:)

I don’t for one second think that children are our human slaves, but if we start teaching independence and responsibility from when they are little, it not only will help them when they start school, but hopefully will carry onto their adult life. Now that my husband has a new job with long hours and I work two days a week to, it’s all about pitching in and helping together! And I don’t care what gender you are, everyone should be taught this. I know it’s way off, but I’d love to think once my children marry, their respective partners appreciate the up bringing our children have had!

So it’s a big year in My Party of 5’s house! We’ll have 2 children in school now Sienna is starting prep and once Mia is out of nappies we won’t have a baby anymore:( But we have so much to look forward to!

Thumbs up for pocket money:)!!!

Trew’s Christmas Traditions #3…..Christmas Clothes!

Posted on December 19, 2012 by natalietrew

I just love how patriotic my children are. Whether it be Christmas, Easter, Australia Day or wear red for Daniel Morcombe, they are right in there embracing the moment with their clothes!

In the past it was so hard to find nice christmas shirts for kids to wear, but this year in particular, the christmas shirts, particularly for girls, are just gorgeous! When I bought the kid’s their first Christmas t-shirt this year, Sienna couldn’t wait to wear it! I held her off as long as I could but by the time we started to put our decorations up mid November, there was no stopping them….so for the next 6 weeks their wardrobe would consist of everything Christmas….pjs, shorts, skirts, dresses, hair clips, ribbons, shirts, you name it they wear it!

Sienna was so excited to finally wear her new shirt:)

We are also very lucky to have my beautiful mother who sews. The kids not only adore their nanny, but absolutely love the fact that they can put an order in for something and nanny has it made within a few days! They have loved going through materials and patterns with mum and picking out what they want. My mum is such a talented women and we’ve been telling her for years that she needs to sell her gorgeous pieces! Mum has made the kids shorts, skirts, dresses, pj boxer shorts and even a button and collared shirt for my nephew!

Here are some of the gorgeous things mum has made for the kids……

Straight skirts

Dresses

Girls shorts

Flowing skirt

Boys shorts

Pj shorts

And this is how my children sport their outfits…..

Thank you mum for always helping the kids embrace the Christmas spirit! Their beautiful pieces of clothing will always be cherished and worn with absolute pride!

Shield of Love!

Posted on October 28, 2012 by natalietrew

This parenting gig was never meant to be easy! There is always something to worry or stress about when it comes to the health and well being of your child! And then when things do seem settled, you start to let your mind relax and BAM something else happens!!!

I really feel terribly sad for my children. They were born into this world happy, healthy little bubbas with not a care in the world and the hardest decision they had to make was do I feed for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes??? Then they started teething and their ears have taken a pounding since! Bailey, who is 7 in February, is still having ear problems and is looking down the barrel of a fourth set of grommets! Over the last few months, between the three of the them, they have had 5 ear infections! This not only brings sad unwell kiddies, but also angry and frustrated little beggers!

Because I’ve had three children to suffer chronic middle ear infections, for the past 6 and a half years I’ve dealt with so many tantrums and meltdowns from children who have just been feeling terrible! At the time of a meltdown or inappropriate behaviour my heart breaks for the fact that being little and feeling pain and discomfort contributes to the loss of self-control and not thinking straight, but the hard side of me puts up my shield and follows through with a consequence! I call my shield the ‘Shield of Love’! I know by putting up my shield, the kids will be better people in the long run!

If I used their sickness as an excuse every time they were naughty, I would end up with rude, disrespectful, out of control children who wouldn’t be very well liked! Each time I have to be the bad cop I tell myself I will thank myself later as I’m teaching my children right from wrong! Of course it would be easier to let things go, but children are so smart and if you let that shield down once they will expect that the next time and the time after that! My theory is as parents we are not meant to be their friends. We are their role models to guide them through life and to assist them in being the best they can be! If we get along really well in the process that is awesome, but if there are times we butt heads then we have to stand up and be the parent and guide them in understanding right from wrong!

This week has been such a tough week with Bailey! He had a tooth removed on Monday and by Wednesday he had six ulcers in the side of his mouth from where he had bitten his gum when it was numb! He has been so miserable and has displayed every emotion possible! My heart breaks when I see my children in pain and if I could I would take it from them. I’ve said on several occasions to my son this week…”we know you are in pain, but that doesn’t excuse your behaviour!” So the shield of love has been used a lot this week! It’s times like this I want to throw the damn shield away, but my biggest thing with all my children at the moment is dealing with their emotions and expressing them sensibly and appropriately!

So while my kidlets are still young and learning the rights and wrongs in life I will continue to use my shield of love. There will be a day when they are older and will appreciate why I’ve used it. I already appreciate that I’ve used it as I see my hard work paying off, especially when they are at school:)!

Welcome to my Zoo!

Posted on October 4, 2012 by natalietrew

“Mum, Sienna hit me in the face!” “Yeah well you pushed me in my stomach!”
“I’m sitting next to Mia!” “No I am!” “I want to pour my milk!” “No Sienna you’re too little!” “Mum Bailey’s being mean to me, he said I was little!”

And this all before 7am!!!!!!

Do you ever feel like your living in a zoo? Play fighting, constant hands on each other, verbal cheap shots and shout outs and squabbling over who sits where or who is going to have the yellow cup!!! Omg some days it just feels like I’m living in a zoo and my children are the animals and I’m the zoo keeper trying to create some peace and harmony amongst the flock! Don’t get me wrong I am not calling my children animals but when left alone to entertain themselves, when god forbid I need to go to the toilet or something, it can end up in a state that is not pretty!

I love school holidays! Being a teacher it’s my turn to have a break from my job, life is so much more relaxed and it’s so nice not to have to rush all the time! I don’t know about anyone else but as much as I love my children I’m ready to pack their school bags and get out the uniform ready for school next Monday! We have done so much yet the “why aren’t we doing anything today?” attitude still appears!!! Between play dates, trip on the train to town, baking, colouring, swimming and the like they can’t say they haven’t had a good holiday!

Individually each of my children are divine (most of the time lol), add two together especially the baby and the older child and it’s mostly heaven, but add the two older ones together and I have my work cut out for me! Then add my two nephews and that makes five children from 19 months to 12 years and there is everything other than peace lol! Why? Why do they like upsetting each other or inflicting pain on each other? They are awesome out in public and as soon as we get in the car to go home they are at each other’s throats….talk about trying to establish the king of the food chain!

This morning I was having a couple of girlfriends over and their children for morning tea….they rocked up Mia and I in pjs still, I was in middle of picking dog poo up so kids could play, Sienna kept tormenting Bailey, I was being asked questions left right and centre “mum” this, “aunty Nat” that….all this on very little sleep….but there was plenty of food I’d baked lol!

But it’s not always like this in fact the majority of the time it’s quite pleasant and fun…the school holidays just add a new dimension! There have been so many times where my two eldest have played so lovely together and I stop, watch and relish in those moments! I gazed in contentment today when I watched my 5 children (3 I birthed and my 2 nephews) were all sitting together laughing and chatting nicely on the lounge! It can happen and those are the moments you sit back and say….this is why I love being a mum!

You go through moments where you think “just shut up!” or you long for some peace and quiet and then you get some time to yourself and I don’t know about you but any longer than a couple of hours and I need my children’s arms hanging around my neck again! So my house may seem like a zoo sometimes, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world….or maybe I would – stop fighting!!!!! Mummy loves you:) lol.

Love my crazy cats more than life itself!!!

Change of Life!

Posted on October 3, 2012 by natalietrew

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs to do, but it’s hard work! You are ‘on call’ 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and there are times when your toileting and eating habits are pushed to the kerb as you become so busy at times, you literally forget to eat and go to the toilet! Imagine doing all of this and always being on your own!

Up until recently I had a husband who worked awesome hours and close to home. He would leave at a time in the morning where he was able to get breakfast for the kids, he would arrive home at a time in the afternoon where he was able to have a kick of the footy with Bailey and be an active participant during the witching hour and we always had our two days on the weekend where we spent time as a family and time maintaining our home! Things are quite different at the moment!

My hard working husband has a new job that is a much longer distance from home, long hours and most weeks he works on Saturdays! This has made for some big changes around our household! I now more than ever have to be super organised with everything!!! From the weekly groceries, to meal planning, my running, to after school activities, it has affected so much of how I use to do things! My husband’s new work hours sure shed some light on the reality of what a lot of people’s lives have always been like!

Prior to this, he was always around at crucial times when a second set of hands were needed, but now I’ve had to learn to cope on my own! I’m happy to say all is going well and I’m so use to it now, but I certainly crash and burn on the couch when the kids go to bed at night! The kids have been pretty resilient and are use to not having their daddy around as much as he use to be, or so I thought!

On the weekend my husband went down to Sydney to watch his beloved Bulldogs (lose) the grand final! Leading up to his departure, the kids had seen him for their usual hour each day during the week! They were satisfied with him going (as he has been several times before) but by the midmorning of the first day, Bailey started to feel the pinch of not having his dad around as much! He was watching me bake cupcakes and out of the blew he said “it’s not fair we don’t have a daddy anymore!” while my heart started to break, I put my arms around him and said “oh Bailey we do darling, you know he hasn’t gone forever!” One shattered little boy cried softly into my chest telling me how much he missed his daddy:(…tears welled in my eyes and I explained how much daddy loved us and wasn’t going anywhere!

Our life has changed (due to reasons that were out of our control) and you have to do what you have to do….a job with my husband’s new work hours, is better than no job at all! But it has made me realise how hard it must be for sole parents! I take my hat off to anyone male or female who are sole parents to their children! Not having another adult to help with feeding, changing, discipline and bounce ideas off when things don’t seem to be working. Always being the one to make the hard decisions and even just having an adult conversation at the end of the day! And as much as children are resilient, kids need a mum and a dad. I completely understand that situations happen where that isn’t possible, but from all of this, I’ve noticed more and more that a boy especially needs his dad!

So much of my life at the moment feels as though I am a single parent taking the brunt of everything….I’m the mother, cleaner, cook, decision maker, I have to think for everyone and there are times when I feel suffocated, but then one of the kids tell me they love me or plants a big kiss on my cheek and that kicks my butt back to reality to appreciate what I have! Our daddy/husband may not spend a lot of time with us at the moment, but we know he will return home each day! And it’s not as if he is out partying, I’m the lucky one who gets to see and spend so much of the day with our children while he is out there supporting his family! That I am extremely grateful for as I only have to work a couple of days a week.

I live in hope that our life will return back to what we use to have and that is having more quality time as a family! Our life at the moment is what it is and as long as we have our home and the kids are happy and healthy, there isn’t much more I could ask for….I know there is one thing I’d like though, after the year we’ve had – a two week tropical holiday!!!!!

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