Body upright, one foot in front of the other, I can do this!
I have children, I have a husband, I have parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, nephews, family and friends who I need to keep going for!
The past two months have been like a living nightmare that I just want to wake up from. So much devastation. So much heartache. So many tears cried. So much bad news!
Wednesday morning I was awoken to the third piece of devastating news that someone in my dear family has had to endure over the past few weeks. I was left feeling beaten with sadness. Yet again the tears flowed. Just when you think you’re all cried out, your eyes just seems to keep weeping fluid of hurt and despair. I laid under my doona and imagined running away….
I imagined running free from all the hurt, the pain, the sadness, to a place where it was full of happiness and no stress. Everyone was healthy! There was no such words as death or illness, only fun and fortune! I imagined scooping my party of 5 up and whisking them away to a secluded island where we played in the sun, sand and water all day and couldn’t be contacted by anyone….this is how I felt on Wednesday! Clearly this was a women on the edge of her emotions, who couldn’t bear to see anymore of her loved ones go through pain!
Then I woke up on Thursday and I did run. I ran 5km pretty fast, which helped me to pull myself together. I told myself while I was running that everything will be ok. At the end of this dreadful cycle there will be happiness and good health. We will all come out of this stronger than ever and our family unity will be as tough as nails!
Now that I’ve kicked my own butt back to reality I’m ready! I’m ready to support my loved ones who are hurting and going through the lowest of lows! I need to be there for my grandad and mum. I need to be there for my other family members who are suffering broken hearts at the moment. I need to be there for my children, who in this disaster cycle look at things so innocently. I need to be a supportive friend to those who need me the most and I need to keep calm for myself. If I don’t keep calm and my heart is affected by all the added stress that is going on I won’t be here to support my loved ones!
From today I’m going to take each day as it comes. Take each situation as it comes and deal with it appropriately. I will stop and enjoy the small things in life. I will accept help when offered and I will stop and breathe when I feel overwhelmed! I will fix a situation where I can and let fate take care of the rest! If I’ve learnt anything over the past month, life is what it is. There is nothing we can do to change a bad situation, but we can make it easier to deal with by being there for each other and only keeping those ‘running free’ thoughts as imaginative ones!
To all my loved ones who are going through a tough time, I love you and am always here for you xoxoxoxox!