This parenting gig was never meant to be easy! There is always something to worry or stress about when it comes to the health and well being of your child! And then when things do seem settled, you start to let your mind relax and BAM something else happens!!!
I really feel terribly sad for my children. They were born into this world happy, healthy little bubbas with not a care in the world and the hardest decision they had to make was do I feed for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes??? Then they started teething and their ears have taken a pounding since! Bailey, who is 7 in February, is still having ear problems and is looking down the barrel of a fourth set of grommets! Over the last few months, between the three of the them, they have had 5 ear infections! This not only brings sad unwell kiddies, but also angry and frustrated little beggers!
Because I’ve had three children to suffer chronic middle ear infections, for the past 6 and a half years I’ve dealt with so many tantrums and meltdowns from children who have just been feeling terrible! At the time of a meltdown or inappropriate behaviour my heart breaks for the fact that being little and feeling pain and discomfort contributes to the loss of self-control and not thinking straight, but the hard side of me puts up my shield and follows through with a consequence! I call my shield the ‘Shield of Love’! I know by putting up my shield, the kids will be better people in the long run!
If I used their sickness as an excuse every time they were naughty, I would end up with rude, disrespectful, out of control children who wouldn’t be very well liked! Each time I have to be the bad cop I tell myself I will thank myself later as I’m teaching my children right from wrong! Of course it would be easier to let things go, but children are so smart and if you let that shield down once they will expect that the next time and the time after that! My theory is as parents we are not meant to be their friends. We are their role models to guide them through life and to assist them in being the best they can be! If we get along really well in the process that is awesome, but if there are times we butt heads then we have to stand up and be the parent and guide them in understanding right from wrong!
This week has been such a tough week with Bailey! He had a tooth removed on Monday and by Wednesday he had six ulcers in the side of his mouth from where he had bitten his gum when it was numb! He has been so miserable and has displayed every emotion possible! My heart breaks when I see my children in pain and if I could I would take it from them. I’ve said on several occasions to my son this week…”we know you are in pain, but that doesn’t excuse your behaviour!” So the shield of love has been used a lot this week! It’s times like this I want to throw the damn shield away, but my biggest thing with all my children at the moment is dealing with their emotions and expressing them sensibly and appropriately!
So while my kidlets are still young and learning the rights and wrongs in life I will continue to use my shield of love. There will be a day when they are older and will appreciate why I’ve used it. I already appreciate that I’ve used it as I see my hard work paying off, especially when they are at school:)!