Techno World!

Posted on January 20, 2013 by natalietrew

My how times have changed! Growing up in the 80s we played outside in the cubby house, rode our bikes everywhere, lived on our swing set and would only watch tv at 4pm when play school was on! Now there are kids television shows on from dusk till dawn, they have a variety of remotes from an xbox, Wii or play station at their fingertips, which if allowed would take up most of their day so very little time spent playing outside in the glorious sunshine!

I’m the first to admit that we own most of the things mentioned above, but I’ve also made strict rules on when they can be used and how long for! Prior to these school holidays the only thing my children really enjoyed doing was watching tv r playing the iPad. We’ve had an Xbox for a couple of years now and recently was given a Wii, but the kids hardly showed any interest in them so there wasn’t any need for strict rules to be in place! Well things have changed! Bailey has discovered the Xbox!!!!

Our usual at home play routine would be drawing/craft, lego, construction type stuff in the mornings and then in the afternoon would be the trampoline, swing set, cubby house or going for a bike or scooter ride! They watch tv mostly first thing when they wake up and when Mia is having her day sleep. We go out a far bit in the mornings whether it’s to the beach, theme parks or playgrounds and if we swim at mum and dad’s, it’s usually in the afternoons! The Xbox was hardly spoken about, in fact it would go days sometimes without being played! The kids like to play the iPad and occasionally will have a turn on the laptop! They both have iPods and enjoy listening to music or playing games on them too!

Now I know what you’re thinking…we’re the ones who buy these things for them! Correct! We live in a world now that is dominated by technology and I think we are hindering our children if we don’t expose them to it. BUT I am also a firm believer that our kids should be exposed to all things great and small! We may allow our children to have the technology in our home, but that certainly doesn’t prevent our children from playing outside in the fresh air and sunlight….I make sure this happens!

Before now it didn’t really bother me too much as I was happy that our children spent plenty of time away from technology, but since Bailey has become obsessed with the Xbox, I see what it can do to their little minds! He’s gone from this happy boy who usually asks me a week in advance where we’re going and what we’re doing, to declining a visit to nanny and poppy’s for a swim (which he never does)! He gets frustrsted when something doesn’t go right on the game and if he’s really engrossed in what he’s doing and he’s asked to have a shower, the monster rares his ugly head!! I don’t think so son…it’s time mean mumma steps in!

This has happened just in a short space of time. As soon as I noticed these things happening I put rules in place. Now, the Xbox can only be played for 1 hour at a time morning and afternoon. Never before breakfast or after dinner and once back to school never before school or never before homework is done and never after his shower! I guess the saying goes you have to be cruel to be kind! When Bailey was told his time was up this afternoon, he carried on “I just need to finish this section mum!” I gave him a warning and he still carried on, so he is banned from playing the Xbox tomorrow. This parenting gig was never meant to be easy! But I’m not here to make sure my children want to be best friends with me, as parents it’s our job to create an environment for our children to hopefully become well rounded, respectful and responsible human beings!

I’m the first to admit I’d be lost without my iPhone and iPad, but I’m still and always will be an outdoors kinda girl and I know how to have a balance life between both! And as they say children can become products of their parents! If we spent all day in front of technology, then what right have we got to say to our children “go outside and play you’ve been sitting in front of that for long enough!” We also need to set an example!

I guess like anything it’s about being able to find a balance, which is what we had going so nicely up until this week…surely it’s a phase and we’ll jump over this hurdle like all the other ones that have been put in our path! It’s already pretty scary how advanced technology is today compared to even when I went to high school…gosh I remember green monitors and typewriters lol! But to be successful with our jobs and so forth in the future, it is important to expose our children to technology but to also still expose them to the wonderful world of free play! Because no technology will ever be able to replace dress ups, make believe mummies and daddies and of course making home made mud pies or your regular game of backyard footy or cricket!

Back To School!

Posted on January 16, 2013 by natalietrew

Almost 5 weeks out of 6 are already gone for the summer school holidays! I don’t know about you, but they have flown by!!! They really have been awesome though! The weather has been sensational and we’ve managed to squeeze in almost everything from the beach, movies, theme parks, play dates and swimming…did I mention swimming!!! I’m sure my kids must be water logged by now! And of course this time of year is always spent the best with family and friends!

But as the holidays draw closer to finishing, there is so much to think about and the hottest topic on most mum’s lips at the moment is back to school! Are you organised? Have you started? For some they’ll be old hats at the back to school schedule but for others they could be entering a whole new world! I’m an old hat now, with my son starting grade 2, but my daughter is about to be a little preppie!!!

Even though I’ve done this before I always feel a sense of anxiety in the pit of my stomach when my children start prep…I just want everything to be perfect for my poppet so she feels safe, comfortable, happy and relaxed! I was like this with Bailey and worse as he was my first at this whole school mum thing! But last year when he started year 1 I was fine and now starting year 2 even more fine!! It’s the prep year that pulls at the heart strings…and anxiety ones lol! I’m happy to say I’ve just about organised everything! Just a school hat for Bailey once the uniform shop opens next week, a library bag for Sienna and hair cuts each and the kids will be all good to go for another school year!

So what is the back to school essentials on everyone’s list?

This is what mine are…..

*Uniform….shirt, shorts/skorts, dress shoes, sports shoes, socks and a hat!
Most of this stuff can be purchased from the school’s uniform shop. I always purchase the school shirts and hats from the uniform shop, but the shorts/skorts I always purchase at Best and Less or Big W along with the socks and track suit for winter.

Brings happy tears to my eyes to see my little girl all ready for prep!

*Bag….something not to small that very little will fit or not too big that it weighs them down and a backpack I think is the way to go!

*Lunch time…lunchbox, food containers, ice block and water bottles are my four essentials.
I always go through a trial run with the kids to make sure they can manage opening all of their own things as well!

*Labels….I label everything and if a label won’t stick I’ll use a marker to write their name! Too many times things go missing around a school yard and if it’s clearly labeled then the chance of it being found is greater!

*Library bag….as long as it has a draw string that can be closed tight so their library bag doesn’t fall out if tipped upside down!

*Hair clips for girls…I have a friend on Facebook that has her own business called Candie Clips who custom makes school clips in the school colours. They are gorgeous and so reasonably price. Sienna’s pack cost me $22 with postage!

*Front Pouch…in the front pouch of my children’s backpack I always include a zip lock bag with a couple of spare pairs of undies and socks and I also include in the pouch a raincoat!

At Runcorn Heights, they have a policy until grade 3 where all stationery is provided by the school at a cost to each family. It certainly takes the pressure off of having to cover and label every piece of equipment…I’ll have the pleasure of doing that for the first time next year!

Once everything is purchased, we always have a trial run or should I say dress rehearsal to make sure everything is ok, fits nicely and feels comfortable! We did that today:) The kids were so excited. It brought me back to when I would start each school year! I loved new things. New socks, new shoes, new bag! And Now that I’m a teacher I still love the beginning of a new school year…now it means a new diary, pens, notebooks and just a whole new beginning!

All ready for grade 2…although by his size he looks like he should be in grade 4 lol!

My little big girl ready to take on the world of Prep!

So on that note I’d like to wish everyone a wonderful and successful school year for 2013. I get to start my working school year on 3 weeks long service leave so I can be there for my preppie while she settles in! Enjoy the remaining time of the school holidays, I’m having a ball with my babies and will continue to enjoy them as life will be different for me only having one child at home now! Good luck to all the preppies starting school and all the mums (be strong) and new school mums! Being a school mum is great…lots of social gatherings and relishing in our children as a community!

They’ll be back to school before we know it!

The Year of Independence!

Posted on January 13, 2013 by natalietrew

When a new year begins I often just sit and gaze at my children while they are enjoying a splash in the pool on a hot summers day and think about what I’d like to see for them throughout the year. I guess you could call it new year resolutions for the young:) In past years I’ve concentrated on things like following an instruction straightaway, cleaning up their toys before they go onto something else or little things like put your pjs on your bed when you get dressed in the morning or take your plate to the kitchen when finished. All these little things when chipped away at, leads to the molding of a respectable and responsible little human being!

I’m quite happy with where my children are presently at! They are capable of so many more things now that they are getting older and it’s nice that there are a few of us now to pitch in and help when it’s needed! Even though they are almost 7, 2 and four and a half, they are all becoming helpful in one way or another! The success of this I believe is consistency. For anything to work, it has to be consistently practiced and from a young age, otherwise it just doesn’t sink in!

Just recently my two eldest children have really discovered the benefit of money and love receiving it for gifts! But of course once it’s spent they want more! So I thought it was time, time for the two little words I have been waiting to use until the time is right…pocket money! When I mentioned to them that they could earn pocket money by being responsible for certain things around the house, they were super excited and listened attentively while I explained that we go out to work to earn money and that is how pocket money works.

Each child has been given 5 jobs that I know they are capable to do. This was done by negotiation between myself and the child. Most jobs are daily ones that are a huge help to the running of our home. At the end of the week, if they have done their jobs well and consistently without any complaining, they get $5 (basically $1 per job)! They asked what they were allowed to spend their money on…my reply was something specific that they need wanted or needed. They are always saying I need new shoes or I need a new skate board. Now they can learn the art of saving for things they want or need!

Jobs chart that reminds them what they need to do to earn their money:)

It’s day 3 and so far so good. All I have to say is “Bailey or Sienna you need to do your job!” and they ask which one and do it! I’ve had the occasional whine and all I’ve said is “a dollar will be taken away if you don’t do your job properly!” and they soon change their tune! My aim of this is to create independence and responsibility around the running of a home. At this stage I don’t expect them to be cooking dinner or even doing the dishes yet, but it’s never too early to create independence in a child.

Right from when my children start toddling I start teaching them to pack their toys away, get the stuff to change their nappy or get a cup or plate out of the cupboard. By the time my kids are one they are usually pretty good with their receptive skills and can follow a command quite well. Again it’s the consistency in this practice that makes it a success. For Mia this year her independence will come from toilet training. She is about to turn 2 next month and is coming along so well with both her receptive and expressive language, so at some stage between now and mid year I’d love to think she will be toilet trained.

2 is the perfect age for establishing independence with feeding themselves and helping with odd things around the house. Mia loves helping (sometimes too much lol) and of course it’s so important to praise them when they do! Even my two older children thrive on praise. Bailey asked “when we do our job well do we get extra money?”…my response “no mate I’ll praise you and give you a high 5!”…his response his beautiful little grin:)

I don’t for one second think that children are our human slaves, but if we start teaching independence and responsibility from when they are little, it not only will help them when they start school, but hopefully will carry onto their adult life. Now that my husband has a new job with long hours and I work two days a week to, it’s all about pitching in and helping together! And I don’t care what gender you are, everyone should be taught this. I know it’s way off, but I’d love to think once my children marry, their respective partners appreciate the up bringing our children have had!

So it’s a big year in My Party of 5’s house! We’ll have 2 children in school now Sienna is starting prep and once Mia is out of nappies we won’t have a baby anymore:( But we have so much to look forward to!

Thumbs up for pocket money:)!!!

RIP Daniel Morcombe….

Posted on December 7, 2012 by natalietrew

I’m sure there wasn’t one person in Australia today who didn’t stop for a second to pay their respects to Daniel Morcombe and his family.

9 years ago a happy family who were enjoying life and the festivities that bring us at this time of year, had their hearts ripped out, torn apart and then stood on! The day their son went missing…..A son, grandson, brother, cousin, nephew and friend. Gone. 9 long pain staking years of searching, hoping, grieving. And today the Morcombe family can finally lay their beautiful boy to rest.

As I watched Daniel’s ceremony along with many other millions of Australians, my heart sank each and every time Daniel’s parents, Denise and Bruce Morcombe’s grief stricken faces were in view of the television screen. The braveness of Bruce when he read his piece and the sorrow that overtook Denise’s face as she shook her head at the thought of having to say a final goodbye to her little boy. As a tear dropped from my eye, my daughter asked me are you crying mummy? I put my arms out and there we sat hugging so tightly, appreciating what we have. When you are having a bad day, you only have to think of the Morcombes and that sure puts things into perspective!

I can’t even begin to imagine how they must feel now and over the past 9 years. Parents shouldn’t have to bury their children. It’s gut wrenching enough when children are taken from this earth by car accidents or terminal illnesses, but the way Daniel was taken…..how, as a parent, do you pick yourself up and recover from that!? Denise and Bruce Morcombe are such an inspiration and through their grief and pain have always showed their strength, courage and dignity when dealing with the media….what wonderful people, no wonder Daniel was known for being so mature, loving and thoughtful!

When I woke up this morning one of the first things I thought of was Daniel and his family and how they were feeling. As a mum, if I was Denise, I would give anything to hold my boy one last time. I would tell him how much I loved him and how proud of him I was. I would tell him to be brave and to try not be scared….I took the opportunity this morning to spend the extra time with my babies in bed. One by one I held them tight and gave them several sweet little kisses on their beautiful little faces. I told each of them I loved them and then squeezed them extra tight!

Sadly no one knows what’s around the corner. Daniel’s story is one that has impacted on Australia as a nation and although for the Morcombe family their story didn’t conclude with a happy ending, they sure have made it their job to bring such great awareness of child safety and stranger danger. In this situation they could have curled up in a ball and stopped living, but they chose to take the positive path and made sure Daniel’s legacy will always live on and that I am sure will happen!

So to all the mums and dads out there, make sure you give your little ones an extra big cuddle and kiss before bed tonight. Don’t sweat the small things and remember to stop and listen to your children when they want to talk to you! Life is so precious and way too short. I appreciate everyday that I am here on this earth being a mum to my three angels and I sincerely hope the Morcombe family can find peace now that their son has been laid to rest….RIP Daniel Morcombe – you will forever be in the hearts of many Australians near and far!

A Snip in the String!

Posted on November 11, 2012 by natalietrew

Things are changing. Bailey is becoming a mature little man, Mia has left her baby days behind her and is becoming an independent little lady and the biggest change that is round the corner is Sienna starting prep. That means when school resumes for another year next year, I’ll have two out of three of my children going to school!

When you become a mum for the first time, you really only think about the kisses, cuddles and laughter that will be shared with your little ones, but my goodness it’s so much more than that! With each age brings a new phase. For the first few years the phases are ones that are managed from the home and then they turn 4 and 5 and they have to go to school! School! That means 5 days a week, 6 hours a day of being under the influence of someone other than yourself, husband or grandparent! It’s the first bit of the apron string that is cut forever and it’s really hard to stomach!

From the second Sienna was placed on my chest she became my little princess, the sun that brightens up my day with her infectious smile and laugh. Up until the age of 3 and a half she was only ever cared for by myself, my husband or my mother. When she started preschool she was so sad:( She cried when we dropped her off and was ecstatic when we arrived to pick her up! She would beg me to let her stay home with nanny. But then she started to cry less and less when we dropped her off. She started to become confident when having to leave me. She finally found a love of learning and enjoyed having a place that she could call her school!

Thank goodness! I was beginning to think Sienna was never going to want to cut her piece of the apron string, but slowly, bit by bit she has. You spend days and days leading up to the first time they have to leave you feeling sad and terrible and then when they cry and have to be ripped off your leg, you wish that they were happy and excited to be there…you can’t win! Sienna is so much like me. I always cried when I started school for the first time, which makes it even worse because I know exactly how she is feeling! Bailey has always been so different! He has hardly shed a tear when he’s been dropped off somewhere for the first time!

Yesterday was the beginning of what will be a wonderful prep journey for Sienna. It was Runcorn Heights prep orientation day. Sienna was exposed to her teachers, aides, peers and classrooms. She had a wonderful time after feeling a bit apprehensive before we got there. Yesterday showed me that my baby girl has matured and developed so much in terms of her confidence and self-esteem since the beginning of the year! I know I didn’t leave her, but there was no sign of tears or shyness, just lots of smiles and her having fun! This made my stomach feel settled and I was left feeling happy and content:)!

Then the moment when you purchase their school uniform for the first time! They wish for you to rush home so they can try it on. The shirt went on first, then the shorts and finally the hat. They instantly go from your baby to this big grown up that secretly you wish you could squish back up to a baby! You feel the tears wanting to drop from your eyes, but you don’t want them to notice! How did this happen? How did I go from breastfeeding, changing nappies, celebrating her first word and first steps to a prep student, in what feels like a blink of an eye!

This time should be easier, I’ve already done this before. But it’s not. No matter how many times I get one of my children ready to embark on their school journey, I always feel sad…happy for them, but sad that another chapter has closed! But as they say as one door closes another one opens. The new phase for us will be strange and different! I haven’t had one child home with me for 4 and a half years and Mia is going to miss her best gal like crazy! But I know this is the beginning of my little poppet’s education, where she will begin to stamp her mark on this world and for her to do this successfully, I have to set her free and snip that part of the string!

My big prep girl…she looks so adorable and grown up in her uniform:)

3 Babies……3 Different Births!

Posted on November 7, 2012 by natalietrew

As I watched the season finale of the Kardashians (I know sad but true – I love them lol) with Kourtney giving birth to her baby, it brought back the most beautiful memories – that still feel so raw – about the day I gave birth to each of my babies!

Giving birth is such a huge ordeal in so many ways! It is the most rewarding and powerful thing women can do and can also be the most dangerous and scariest thing too! It takes your body to a place that is indescribable and unimaginable (for the first time anyway) yet the second your baby is born and placed on your chest the world around you instantly feels the same, except you suddenly fall in love at first sight!!

I remember the first time I gave birth like it was yesterday…..

It was the end of summer and the preseason NRL matches started. I was 38 weeks pregnant and my husband thought it would be a good idea to go to a football game down the coast and have a few beers for the night! “Of course you’ll be right babe, the baby is due in March, it’s still February!!!!!!” mmmm well this baby had other ideas! At 5pm that afternoon I had passed a small gush of clear fluid and by 7pm I’d passed another gush, a bigger one which I then alerted my family to. My sister who is a midwife came and assessed the situation. By 9pm I had a ‘show’ and started to feel a few cramps. You can imagine the phone call to my ‘happy from beers’ husband who raced home so we could go to the hospital!

When I got to the hospital I remember thinking please be at least 5cm dilated….no such luck I was only 2cm, but fully effaced! By 11pm I was in labour nasty feeling contractions and all! I was last checked at midnight by my midwife who told me she would leave me now as their policy was to check every 4 hours unless something significant was happening. They seriously were the longest 4 hours in my life! I have always been very anti epidural and was hoping to go as long as I could with no pain relief at all! As each hour passed after midnight the contractions worsened, became closer together and I was becoming more tired by the second! I went from the shower, to the birthing ball, to the floor and nothing seemed comfortable!

I begged to be checked at 3am and at 3.45am my midwife came and said I was only 5cm dilated! I was shattered:( I was in so much pain and discomfort I thought for sure I was ready to push lol….clearly I was an amateur lol! I was offered to have my waters broken, but was told my labour would go to a whole new level and that it did! By this stage I had reached my maximum of labouring with no pain relief! I tried the gas and hated it, I begged for an epidural but was suggested I have a shot of pethadine. Once I had pethadine I’d forgotten all about wanting an epidural and before I knew it my midwife was telling me that I was 10cm and ready to go!

I went from 5cm dilated to 10cm in 45mins and that urge to push came on me like a tone of bricks! I had hoped to be upright during delivery but not sleeping for 24 hours and labouring on my legs for the past 7 hours I couldn’t get off my side! With each contraction I was told to push and bare down. I felt like I was pushing so hard that the veins in my neck were going to burst! I still remember my lovely husband removing my hand from pulling on his Bulldogs jersey….should of ripped the bloody thing lol! Finally 1 hour and 15 minutes of pushing later my beautiful baby boy was placed on my chest!

9p 5oz, 52cm long, 5.56am, 26/02/06!

He was huge and loud!!! He had long fingers and flippers for feet…that boy is Bailey Kane Trew and would be the one and only boy that I would give birth to! From the moment we became mother and son, we have lived, cried, laughed kissed and cuddled together and have a bond that no one can break! My first born, my first for everything, has given me a life of experiences and challenges that I never thought was possible, but I love him to death!

My gorgeous baby boy:)

The second time I gave birth…..

After having a boy first, I’m not going to lie I really wanted a little girl! We didn’t find out what we were having so by 36 weeks the suspense was starting to kill me! My babies head was engaged from 36 weeks so I thought for sure I would have another early labour…not so! The last 4 weeks were so tough! I literally felt like the babies head was between my legs and every now and again they would push down hard to the point I thought the baby was going to fall out lol! Having your second baby is just as exciting as your first as you are giving your first born a sibling, but you go through the emotions of leaving your first child to have another and them not being the only priority in your life!

I still remember the morning I went into labour…3 days overdue and just in time to make the cut for the school year intake:) Saying goodbye to my little man, my first born was gut wrenching. The next time I would see him he wouldn’t be my only child! Thank goodness this labour was so different to my first, so the time between saying goodbye to Bailey and seeing him again was like the blink of an eye!

I started getting my first pain at 5am by 6.30am the pains were getting closer together and I headed into the hospital! I was still so in control and the pain was very bearable! I was stoked when my midwife checked me I was 5cm dilated!!! I felt like I was in hell when I was 5cm dilated with my first baby…clearly my body knew what it was doing this time! Things really started to change its pace at 10am. The pain was intense, fast, one on top of the other and were starting to take my breath away! I found a comfy position in the shower with the hot water on my back as great relief from the pain!

I kept talking to myself each step of the way. I kept saying waters break, waters break! I really wanted my waters to break naturally this time! Thankfully they did (all over Kane’s shoe lol) and literally seconds later I wanted to push! At that stage I was ready for my pethadine, but OMG the window of any pain relief was closed…this birth was going to be all natural!!!! As I was pushing nothing was happening. On inspection my midwife realised the lip of my cervix was stuck on the babies head…having this removed was the worst, most excruciating thing I’ve ever felt! That paved way for my baby to be born 20 minutes from when my waters broke….lucky they didn’t break at a shopping centre!!! I’ll never ever in my life forget the moment my second baby was born. As I gave one final push and her whole body slide out I was able to help catch her and pull her straight up to reveal to everyone that we had a little girl…I was the proudest and happiest mother in that moment!

10p 2oz, 52cm long, 11.55am, 30/06/08!

I thought Bailey was big, but my little girl was massive…no wonder she hurt! Sienna Lynette Trew came out, not crying, with her eyes open, ready to take on the world! Unbeknown to us Sie Sie would become our middle child and boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome! But aside from that she has been my shining light on so many occasions when I needed my dark days to be brightened up! And my goodness are we going to have some disagreements when she is a teenager, but I love this girl more than life itself!

I finally was given a princess:)

I’ve always wanted a big family and three children has always been a dream of mine. But once we had a boy and girl and add to the fact that my health was becoming an issue, we had pretty much decided to leave our family at 4….but fate works in mysterious ways!

My third and final time I gave birth….

Still to this day I’m puzzled as to how this baby was brought to us (I know that sounds stupid) but fate would have it that we were meant to complete our family with a third baby and thank goodness our little miracle baby was brought to us!!! If we didn’t conceive Mia we would have never found out about my heart condition and who knows how long I would have lived for! Because of this, Mia’s birth was very bittersweet! On one hand we were so excited to finally be meeting our little girl (she was our only baby who we found out the sex for) but on the other hand we were entering an unknown world with my heart condition! So instead of going into labour naturally and giving birth how I knew best, I had to be induced and monitored very closely!

The day of Mia’s birth was long and tough. I was hoping when my induction started and my waters were broken my body, who’d been there and done that before, would remember and go into overdrive and things would happen quickly….no such luck! I spent a lot of time sitting around and waiting for things to happen that day. I can’t believe I was getting excited every time I felt pain. I kept telling myself every bit of pain got me closer to meeting my baby. I had so many different doctors coming in and going over the same questions as the doctor before – my heart condition is quite rare in pregnant women so no one really knew what may have happened, but they sure were prepared for anything!

For the first part of my labour my heart rate and blood pressure were good. My midwife was under strict instructions to let my doctor know if my heart rate and blood pressure went past 100. Once my labour started to progress I went and stood in the shower as the hot water was acting as pain relief, but my heart rate went up past 100 so after that I was confined to the bed….grrrrr!

By 3.30 that afternoon, I was finally in established labour. One excruciating pain on top of the other! I didn’t bother with the gas and when I started to feel a bit out of control I opted for some pethidine. It didn’t seem to relax me like it did when having Bailey, I think the worry of my heart was preventing me from staying calm by this stage. Towards the end when I was about 8cm dilated I was at my limit. I was loosing all control. Control of my breathing. Control of my positive thoughts!

But then I had a change of midwife who was like the horse whisperer of midwives and the way she came in and handled the situation was like something from a movie! It was her words of encouragement, her tone of voice and the cues she was giving me, which enabled me to give birth without having to do very little pushing. After going through the most terrifying day of my life and without any intervention or epidural, my miracle baby literally slipped out and I am still here to tell the story!

8p 13oz, 51cm long, 7.36pm, 17/02/11!

From the second Mia Natalie Trew and I touched skin our bond has been like no other! She has been my hardest baby by far, but as she grows her personality is funny and delightful! I still look at her and thank god everyday she was given to us…she is my gift of life and will always be my baby girl!

My little miracle!

I consider myself very lucky to have had experienced three pretty good labours and each time at the Mater Hospital, with the most caring, professional and dedicated staff! I was also blessed with a loving support team in my husband, mother and sister! Giving birth is such a wonderful time in a women’s life and no matter how you give birth, where you give birth or how many times you give birth, each baby and birth is unique and should always be recognised and celebrated for what it is….a true miracle!

The reason I get out of bed each day!

Shield of Love!

Posted on October 28, 2012 by natalietrew

This parenting gig was never meant to be easy! There is always something to worry or stress about when it comes to the health and well being of your child! And then when things do seem settled, you start to let your mind relax and BAM something else happens!!!

I really feel terribly sad for my children. They were born into this world happy, healthy little bubbas with not a care in the world and the hardest decision they had to make was do I feed for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes??? Then they started teething and their ears have taken a pounding since! Bailey, who is 7 in February, is still having ear problems and is looking down the barrel of a fourth set of grommets! Over the last few months, between the three of the them, they have had 5 ear infections! This not only brings sad unwell kiddies, but also angry and frustrated little beggers!

Because I’ve had three children to suffer chronic middle ear infections, for the past 6 and a half years I’ve dealt with so many tantrums and meltdowns from children who have just been feeling terrible! At the time of a meltdown or inappropriate behaviour my heart breaks for the fact that being little and feeling pain and discomfort contributes to the loss of self-control and not thinking straight, but the hard side of me puts up my shield and follows through with a consequence! I call my shield the ‘Shield of Love’! I know by putting up my shield, the kids will be better people in the long run!

If I used their sickness as an excuse every time they were naughty, I would end up with rude, disrespectful, out of control children who wouldn’t be very well liked! Each time I have to be the bad cop I tell myself I will thank myself later as I’m teaching my children right from wrong! Of course it would be easier to let things go, but children are so smart and if you let that shield down once they will expect that the next time and the time after that! My theory is as parents we are not meant to be their friends. We are their role models to guide them through life and to assist them in being the best they can be! If we get along really well in the process that is awesome, but if there are times we butt heads then we have to stand up and be the parent and guide them in understanding right from wrong!

This week has been such a tough week with Bailey! He had a tooth removed on Monday and by Wednesday he had six ulcers in the side of his mouth from where he had bitten his gum when it was numb! He has been so miserable and has displayed every emotion possible! My heart breaks when I see my children in pain and if I could I would take it from them. I’ve said on several occasions to my son this week…”we know you are in pain, but that doesn’t excuse your behaviour!” So the shield of love has been used a lot this week! It’s times like this I want to throw the damn shield away, but my biggest thing with all my children at the moment is dealing with their emotions and expressing them sensibly and appropriately!

So while my kidlets are still young and learning the rights and wrongs in life I will continue to use my shield of love. There will be a day when they are older and will appreciate why I’ve used it. I already appreciate that I’ve used it as I see my hard work paying off, especially when they are at school:)!

It’s Hard To Let Go!

Posted on October 17, 2012 by natalietrew

Today I finished sorting the last bedroom in our house – my baby girl’s room! As I placed each item of clothing in a pile that is too tiny for her now, I felt sick, sad, depressed that no baby of mine will wear those clothes again:(……I thought I was ok about moving forward but quite clearly I’m not!

In the past month Mia has gone from a baby toddler to a big girl toddler and as she discovers a new trick and speaks a new word or phrase, it reminds me more and more of how my days as a mother of a baby are slowly dwindling! A couple of months back I wrote a blog on ‘Knowing When You’re Complete’, I know in my heart (literally) we won’t be having anymore children but that doesn’t mean I’m at peace with this (like I thought I was)!

I’m really bad at the moment and can’t even bring myself to look through the kids baby photos! What’s wrong with me…I’m an emotional basket case!!!! Their baby photos bring back such powerful (and the best) memories just like they were yesterday! I still remember the minute each of them were born and placed on my chest, the instant bond that no one could come between. The baby smell oh how I loved thee, to the point I could have eaten their little cheeks off lol! The precious moments of breast feeding, having them smile and laugh at me for the first time and all the other special milestones that our babies reach! No wonder letting go is so damn hard!

As I see a pregnant women or a newborn baby I smile with happiness for them, but behind my smile are tears of sorrow. 6 months ago if you asked me am I done, I would of said hell yeah!! Mia was such a difficult baby and for a long time put me off having anymore. But now my sweet little pea is content and happy, it has shadowed all the hard times. Someone at work asked me yesterday am I done, this time my response was unfortunately:(

I would love a 4th baby to even our family up, but my life’s path decided it wasn’t meant to be the day I found out about my heart! I probably may not have had a fourth anyway, but there are times like now that the fact the decision has been taken out of my control makes me feel mixed emotions! I’ve loved having babies, it’s been the absolute best time of my life so far….but OMG how fast has it gone!!! After writing a piece last week about our wedding day 8 years ago and now we have 3 adorable children in toe….please time SLOW DOWN!!!!

I know I need to get over myself and move forward and I will. I don’t know what it is but it’s just not sitting right with me at the moment! Yes I feel blessed with my 3 beautiful babies and yes I’ve worked hard to regain the old me back and yes if I had a fourth their ears would be disastrous like their brother and sister’s, but I think no matter how I look at the situation I would always want another one if it was my 4th, 5th or 6th….because having babies is something I love and was meant to do which is why I’m finding it hard to let go!

I’m just so glad that I’ve cherished each moment through a photo, video or piece of clothing. Because it’s these memories that will always keep my ‘baby days’ alive for me….these are some of those special memories and things that I will never part with:

Our first photo as a family!

Mother and son:)

Bailey meeting his sister for the first time…this photo brings tears to my eyes every time!

I couldn’t believe my eyes when we saw the number on the scales….10 pound 2!!!

Mmmwah!

This photo of Mia still spins me out!

Love this photo:)

My miracle baby who saved my life!

And then there were three:)

I feel so blessed I have my party of 5!

Mia at 6 months….my favourite baby age!

Bailey’s outfit he wore when he left the hospital!

Kane bought this sleeping bag for Sienna from the Mater fundraiser.

One of the many beautiful wraps mum made for Sienna which Mia also used!

Bailey’s dummy holder he wore to bed!

One of many hand knits that I wore when I was a baby and my daughters have been able to wear!

That’s how all my babies started….helps when their aunty is one:)

This is the box where all the things I just can’t part with will live….I’ve also got Bailey’s first dummy, I kept a spare newborn nappy to show the kids when they are older how tiny they were. I’ve also kept their hospital bracelets, name cards and clamp from their bellybutton ….I know I’m a freak!!!! Lol!

I know I have so much more to look forward to as each of my children grow and develop….but there just isn’t anything quite as beautiful than a snuggle with your newborn….but I do think snuggling with any of my babies no matter how old they are sure is just as precious!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Welcome to my Zoo!

Posted on October 4, 2012 by natalietrew

“Mum, Sienna hit me in the face!” “Yeah well you pushed me in my stomach!”
“I’m sitting next to Mia!” “No I am!” “I want to pour my milk!” “No Sienna you’re too little!” “Mum Bailey’s being mean to me, he said I was little!”

And this all before 7am!!!!!!

Do you ever feel like your living in a zoo? Play fighting, constant hands on each other, verbal cheap shots and shout outs and squabbling over who sits where or who is going to have the yellow cup!!! Omg some days it just feels like I’m living in a zoo and my children are the animals and I’m the zoo keeper trying to create some peace and harmony amongst the flock! Don’t get me wrong I am not calling my children animals but when left alone to entertain themselves, when god forbid I need to go to the toilet or something, it can end up in a state that is not pretty!

I love school holidays! Being a teacher it’s my turn to have a break from my job, life is so much more relaxed and it’s so nice not to have to rush all the time! I don’t know about anyone else but as much as I love my children I’m ready to pack their school bags and get out the uniform ready for school next Monday! We have done so much yet the “why aren’t we doing anything today?” attitude still appears!!! Between play dates, trip on the train to town, baking, colouring, swimming and the like they can’t say they haven’t had a good holiday!

Individually each of my children are divine (most of the time lol), add two together especially the baby and the older child and it’s mostly heaven, but add the two older ones together and I have my work cut out for me! Then add my two nephews and that makes five children from 19 months to 12 years and there is everything other than peace lol! Why? Why do they like upsetting each other or inflicting pain on each other? They are awesome out in public and as soon as we get in the car to go home they are at each other’s throats….talk about trying to establish the king of the food chain!

This morning I was having a couple of girlfriends over and their children for morning tea….they rocked up Mia and I in pjs still, I was in middle of picking dog poo up so kids could play, Sienna kept tormenting Bailey, I was being asked questions left right and centre “mum” this, “aunty Nat” that….all this on very little sleep….but there was plenty of food I’d baked lol!

But it’s not always like this in fact the majority of the time it’s quite pleasant and fun…the school holidays just add a new dimension! There have been so many times where my two eldest have played so lovely together and I stop, watch and relish in those moments! I gazed in contentment today when I watched my 5 children (3 I birthed and my 2 nephews) were all sitting together laughing and chatting nicely on the lounge! It can happen and those are the moments you sit back and say….this is why I love being a mum!

You go through moments where you think “just shut up!” or you long for some peace and quiet and then you get some time to yourself and I don’t know about you but any longer than a couple of hours and I need my children’s arms hanging around my neck again! So my house may seem like a zoo sometimes, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world….or maybe I would – stop fighting!!!!! Mummy loves you:) lol.

Love my crazy cats more than life itself!!!

Change of Life!

Posted on October 3, 2012 by natalietrew

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs to do, but it’s hard work! You are ‘on call’ 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and there are times when your toileting and eating habits are pushed to the kerb as you become so busy at times, you literally forget to eat and go to the toilet! Imagine doing all of this and always being on your own!

Up until recently I had a husband who worked awesome hours and close to home. He would leave at a time in the morning where he was able to get breakfast for the kids, he would arrive home at a time in the afternoon where he was able to have a kick of the footy with Bailey and be an active participant during the witching hour and we always had our two days on the weekend where we spent time as a family and time maintaining our home! Things are quite different at the moment!

My hard working husband has a new job that is a much longer distance from home, long hours and most weeks he works on Saturdays! This has made for some big changes around our household! I now more than ever have to be super organised with everything!!! From the weekly groceries, to meal planning, my running, to after school activities, it has affected so much of how I use to do things! My husband’s new work hours sure shed some light on the reality of what a lot of people’s lives have always been like!

Prior to this, he was always around at crucial times when a second set of hands were needed, but now I’ve had to learn to cope on my own! I’m happy to say all is going well and I’m so use to it now, but I certainly crash and burn on the couch when the kids go to bed at night! The kids have been pretty resilient and are use to not having their daddy around as much as he use to be, or so I thought!

On the weekend my husband went down to Sydney to watch his beloved Bulldogs (lose) the grand final! Leading up to his departure, the kids had seen him for their usual hour each day during the week! They were satisfied with him going (as he has been several times before) but by the midmorning of the first day, Bailey started to feel the pinch of not having his dad around as much! He was watching me bake cupcakes and out of the blew he said “it’s not fair we don’t have a daddy anymore!” while my heart started to break, I put my arms around him and said “oh Bailey we do darling, you know he hasn’t gone forever!” One shattered little boy cried softly into my chest telling me how much he missed his daddy:(…tears welled in my eyes and I explained how much daddy loved us and wasn’t going anywhere!

Our life has changed (due to reasons that were out of our control) and you have to do what you have to do….a job with my husband’s new work hours, is better than no job at all! But it has made me realise how hard it must be for sole parents! I take my hat off to anyone male or female who are sole parents to their children! Not having another adult to help with feeding, changing, discipline and bounce ideas off when things don’t seem to be working. Always being the one to make the hard decisions and even just having an adult conversation at the end of the day! And as much as children are resilient, kids need a mum and a dad. I completely understand that situations happen where that isn’t possible, but from all of this, I’ve noticed more and more that a boy especially needs his dad!

So much of my life at the moment feels as though I am a single parent taking the brunt of everything….I’m the mother, cleaner, cook, decision maker, I have to think for everyone and there are times when I feel suffocated, but then one of the kids tell me they love me or plants a big kiss on my cheek and that kicks my butt back to reality to appreciate what I have! Our daddy/husband may not spend a lot of time with us at the moment, but we know he will return home each day! And it’s not as if he is out partying, I’m the lucky one who gets to see and spend so much of the day with our children while he is out there supporting his family! That I am extremely grateful for as I only have to work a couple of days a week.

I live in hope that our life will return back to what we use to have and that is having more quality time as a family! Our life at the moment is what it is and as long as we have our home and the kids are happy and healthy, there isn’t much more I could ask for….I know there is one thing I’d like though, after the year we’ve had – a two week tropical holiday!!!!!

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