I’ve Earnt My Tiger Stripes!!

Posted on September 23, 2012 by natalietrew

It’s been 7 years now since I had a flat, flawless belly where I didn’t have a handful of excess skin that hangs over my shorts when I bend over….but I’m not depressed or sad about it, as without the state my belly is in I wouldn’t have the three gifts of life I’ve been given:)

On our honeymoon 8 years ago before I became a mum!

I write this blog as the bikini season is approaching and since losing 13 kilos and working hard to get rid of my bulging belly, I’ve come to the realisation that my bikini wearing days are over! No matter how hard I try or how much weight l lose, the state my belly has been left in, from carrying my three babies, will always be an everlasting reminder of the miracles I have!

My body changes have all been worth it if it means being a mum to my children!

How things change once you become a mum:)! I’ve gone from this vein precise person to someone who worries about herself after everyone else is all settled! Before children my belly was the most toned part of my body and I was fortunate enough to wear whatever I wanted but now I chose outfits wisely that cater to my belly’s needs!

I don’t look at my belly and feel as though it’s ruined, it’s an area of my body the kids like to cuddle up to. They love it! Bailey calls it squishy and loves to see it wobble, Sienna loves the feel of it and Mia loves seeing how far the skin stretches out! Every night after dinner when we are on the lounge Mia always lifts up my shirt and relishes in the area of my body that they once lived closely to for a whole 9 months! Together they giggle and feel safe and secure. I’m not embarrassed by it, I would be more upset and mortified if the kids (and my husband for that matter) were repulsed and didn’t want to come near it!

It’s common knowledge that baring a child is going to have some affect on our bodies! I mean for goodness sake we are humans growing a human and it has to grow and stretch and come out some how! Some women are lucky enough to have none or very little scare wounds and then others are hammered with a lot! I was less than 60kgs when I had my first baby who was 9 pound 5 at 38 weeks – yeah you would think he did the damage to my belly, but it was my daughter who cracked the 10 pound mark. My pregnancy with her was the one that left me with my tiger stripes….the third just added a bit more stretch to the already over stretched skin!

My everlasting reminder of the miracle of life….and I always wanted a tatoo on my belly, imagine what it would look like now if I had of got one lol!

I don’t ever think why me! I would far rather have a belly looking like this and my three munchkins than the alternative. Would I have it fixed? Not at this stage….I don’t think my children would allow it! Lol! I have far more things I would rather spend our money on. Since finding out about my heart condition, it has changed my life for the better. My aim is to keep fit and healthy so I can be the best mum and wife and watch my children grow….anything beyond that is not a priority anymore! So for now I’ll wear my tiger stripes proudly and embrace a one piece swim suit this summer!

“Yes I’m a mum of three children!!”

Posted on August 22, 2012 by natalietrew

It’s been 10 months now since I started my journey to regain my pre-baby body back. I choose to do this for myself, nobody else!! One thing I’ve noticed more now since losing my weight and getting fit is the surprised look on people’s faces when I tell them I have 3 children!!! “You have three children?!” “And you look like that!” is what I hear a lot! As flattering as it can be, it also makes me feel a little uncomfortable! It got me thinking….Why does it have to be a shock? And how does what I look like depict whether I fit the ‘motherly’ role or not?! Isn’t it a good thing that I’m promoting health and fitness to my children. Yes I’m a mum but that doesn’t mean I should give up on myself!!! Society creates stereotypes of specific people and roles and it’s becoming just so frustrating! If we spent more time worrying about the type of mother, father, teacher or doctor people are rather than how they look, the world would be a far more friendly place to live in!

I am a firm believer of the phrase ‘each to their own!’ Like I stated above, I look the way I do for myself, nobody else and being the shape and size I am doesn’t define me as a mother. The love in my heart for my children, the sacrifices I make and the way I parent is what defines me! I don’t for one minute expect other mothers to exercise how I do or eat what I eat, everyone is their own person and makes their own decisions in life! Ok so I agree not all of us but a lot of us put weight on during pregnancy. Some of us find it easy to lose it after our babies are born and some of us don’t! Some of us find the motivation easily and some of us need more encouragement and some of us are just happy as is! But why can’t that be good enough? You lose weight you’re questioned. You don’t lose weight you’re questioned. And it’s not just the weight issue, it’s the age you are when you first become a mum, how you discipline, if you breast feed, where your baby sleeps, arrrrrrr feels like you just can’t win!!!!!!!

I feel mums are stereotyped more than dads are too! If a dad is fit, slim and healthy no one questions them. It seems to be dads can just be as they are and not many people question them at all! It’s not enough that just being a mum is such a busy 24/7 job, but we are always made to feel like we have to live to these high expectations all the time! Not for me anymore! Society is creating a selfish and nasty place out there now and it really disappoints me that people behave the way they do. I’m happy to say that I’m a mum because I want to be and I take my mum job seriously. I’ve seen such a huge shift in mums over the past 6 years of being a mum. When my first was born, I use to go to play groups and Gymboree and met some lovely mums along the way. We would talk about our babies but mostly we would just talk. Now when I go to playgrounds or play groups you over hear a lot of conversations about those high expectations I was talking about! Why are some mums so competitive, judgemental and spend more time worrying about what others think?!

You would think a room full of mums and their children would be such a lovely place to be, but in truth it can be the opposite sometimes! I love meeting new people and being a mum is such a popular thing to have in common with someone, therefore should be easy to strike up a conversation or relate to each other, but it doesn’t always seem to be! The sad thing is, mums can be hard work! Being a teacher, I meet and see so many different mothers and some are so easy to communicate with and relay information to and others not so much! As a mum we are our children’s advocates I get that well and truly, but sometimes some mums go a bit too far! Is it because so much pressure is put on us to create perfection? The sad thing is while parents are trying to mould this ‘perfect’ child, the real basic and important fundamentals that should be taught are being missed.

Life just seems so full of high expectations, ideal ways and competitiveness and while some of this is important at times, I think we need to go back to some of the old fashioned ways of living life for yourself and not how other people perceive you should! My Party of 5 is the most important thing to me! Being a mum and wife is the most important role in life. What I do I do for myself and my children not for anyone else! I have opinions but know when to state them appropriately. With each child I’ve learnt to chill out as a mum and not get caught up in the controversial issues that come with being a mum. I will continue to be myself for myself and no stereotypical way of being a mum will stop me from looking the way I do! So to answer the question I’ve been asked so frequently lately….”yes I’m a mum of three and I’m very proud of it!” No matter who you are, being your own person is far easy than being someone that everyone else thinks you should be!

Quality Time….One at a time!

Posted on August 15, 2012 by natalietrew

It’s been over 6 years since I was pregnant with my first born baby. That pregnancy was my favourite. Not only was it my easiest, but I had the time to relish in everything that comes with being pregnant. I could put my feet up and lie down whenever I wanted to, sit and enjoy the movements of my growing baby, shop in peace for baby items, enjoy time with my husband and sleep as much as I wanted to!!!! Then after my first baby was born it was so lovely spending all my time bonding with my little man. He went everywhere with me and it was just beautiful being able to share this time together and me be there for every waking moment and milestone that he achieved! I would take a billion photos of him everyday and had his first year scrapbooking album completed by the time his first birthday rolled around. First children are the lucky ones really because they not only get a large quantity of time that is purely revolved around them, they certainly get the most quality time spent with them!

Since having my first baby I have gone onto having two more children and nothing is like having your first baby. Now you can’t only dedicate your time and effort into one child, you have to share yourself around. Although one child is easy, it’s nice to have more than one. Giving my first born a sibling/(s) was so important to me as I grew up with two sisters and I couldn’t imagine life without them. Even though once you have more than one child you give up that one on one time with your children, you then get to enjoy watching your children interact and form a sibling relationship. Things change, but I think for the better. I love being a mum of three. It’s certainly fair from a walk in the park, but I love a challenge….apparently lol! One thing I make sure though, is that each of my children get to spend one on one time with my husband or myself. It was our choice to have children and to keep adding to our family, so I believe that every child deserves some individual attention every now and again.

We spend most of our time together as a family of 5, but there are times when we do things with one child at a time depending on the activity. Recently our eldest learnt how to ride his bike without training wheels, so once or twice a week Bailey and I go for a bike ride. We have so much fun and I can focus on just him and his new found love of bike riding. Bailey also plays football and my husband is the assistant coach, so going to training twice a week with dad on his own without his little sisters has been cool for him. In the past I would take him to swimming lessons at 5pm while my husband had the girls at home and when Bailey achieves something special, one of us take him out for ice-cream or to the shops to buy him a little something!

I keep a closer eye on my middle child. I’ve already written a blog about middle child syndrome and that it does exist in our house. We have been blessed with a fairly easy going middle child in Sienna, but being a four year old she can be emotional at times and feels the pinch of having an older brother who is always achieving and a baby sister who is a toddler therefore needs lots of attention! I feel the worst for Sienna. She will miss out on the most quantity of time with me. She has had me to herself for a whole big total of 5 weeks! Bailey got me for 2 and a half years and my baby will have me for 3 years to herself after this year. I feel I have a lot to make up to Sienna. Like with Bailey we take her out and treat her if she achieves something special. Her time with us on her own is when Mia has a day sleep and Bailey is at school. Often we’ll just cuddle on the lounge or read a book together. On the weekend I took her out to dinner and ice-cream as Bailey had spent all day with his best friend and we missed out on going to the Ekka as my husband had to work all day. Not once did that little girl complain and taking her out was so worth the happiness that covered her beautiful little face!

Mia being the youngest and our baby, has lots of moments in time where she gets to have one of us all to herself! Often I’ll take her out with me while Kane has the older two or vice versa. And while she is 18 months now, she was breast fed for 15 months, therefore she had lots of me to herself and those moments were the most precious! Just recently I had a week off work while she was sick and was able to spend two whole days with her while Bay and Sie were at school….we had a ball together and was an insight into how life will be once Sienna starts prep next year!

I love going on family outings all of us together. They are the moments I live for during the week, when you’re not having the best week, you know the weekend will make up for it…spending time as a family. But I also think that it’s vital that each of our children can have our full undivided attention every once in a while. I’d hate to think that one of them or all of them felt like they were never being heard or fussed over. I try my hardest as a mother to make sure when we are altogether that my attention is evenly shared, but there are days when I feel like its not enough, which is why I feel so much more content when I’m able to spend quality time, one at a time with each of my precious babies!

Sleep is for Wimps!

Posted on August 5, 2012 by natalietrew

Sleep….what’s that? Or should I say what’s a full night uninterrupted sleep feel like? Pre-children I loved my sleep. I needed my sleep to survive each day and without it I would slowly turn into a crazy lady by the end of the day. I was one of the lucky ones while I was pregnant I slept and slept and slept. Then I was blessed with my first baby as he only woke for one feed a night and slept through at 8 weeks old! Even with all of his ear infections he would only wake up every now and again! He is still our best sleeper to this day! Then our first daughter came along!!!!!

I was expecting her to sleep like her brother but for the first couple of weeks was having two night feeds….what’s up with that?? I thought Lol. She settled nicely into one night feed before long and at 6 weeks old slept through! I was feeling so blessed. That was short lived though. By three months old and still waking every night I started to get a little frustrated – why can’t every baby sleep through at 8 weeks old?? Anyway she finally slept through at 5 months old which is when she started sucking her thumb!

I was feeling fantastic again. It’s amazing how getting great night sleeps contribute to a huge part of your life in terms of happiness, self-esteem, energy and patience!!! We were blessed for two months and then our sleeping life took a turn for the worst! From 7 months old until around 3 years old, Sienna slept terribly! Between her bad ears and allergies it took its toll on her sleep at night which meant there were many a day where I felt like I was surviving on nothing! Those days were tough. Everyone use to say sleep when they are sleeping…it was a bit hard when I was working a couple of days a week and running around after a toddler and baby, plus making sure our house chores were done! But somehow I managed. I had to, I didn’t have any other choice!

By the time Sienna finally settled Mia was a few months old (who was our worst sleeping newborn baby, day and night) and we just went from one awake child to another! And of course the more children you have the greater the chance someone will wake up! It’s only happened a handful of times, but when all three wake up, you get to the point where you think why am I even bothering to sleep! Mia finally slept through at about 11 months old and by this stage I worked out I’d had about almost 4 years of broken sleep! But in all of this, we do expect as parents that for a number of years our ‘good’ sleep will be stolen from us. And you do get use to it! You have days where you cope and days where the exhaustion gets the better of you, but I keep telling myself, it won’t be like this forever!

Like anything it’s all about mind over matter. I only get about 3-4 good night sleeps a month at the moment and when I do I embrace those moments and relish in every bit of energy I get out of that. I make sure I go to bed at a reasonable hour at night and I very rarely sleep in the day, but I do make sure I sit down for a half hour to an hour while Mia is having a day sleep. When I’ve had a bad night now, I try and think happy thoughts or thoughts that I have had a good night, otherwise if you dwell on how much sleep you didn’t get, you make yourself feel worse! Exercising has definitely helped me overcome that real exhaustion and gives me the energy I need to survive on at 5pm when you feel like you could collapse! But the biggest thing I say to myself now is “sleep is for wimps!” lol. The more you talk to yourself in your head, the better you will feel….as long as it’s positive talk:)!

A peaceful sleeping baby or child is like gold for a parent:)

Knowing When You’re Complete!

Posted on August 2, 2012 by natalietrew

I love this time of my life! In the past 10 years I’ve married my true love, bought a house that we’ve turned into a home and produced three of the most adorable babies we could have ever wished for! All while going through many ups and downs which is called LIFE! We’ve come to the crossroads of the reproductive part of our life when a decision needs to be made….are we complete yet?

For some people that question is very easy to answer, most people know while they are pregnant with a baby that it will be their last, but for me I always knew letting go of having any more babies wouldn’t be an easy decision. I feel like this has come upon me so quickly! It only feels like yesterday I was trying on my wedding dress and wearing it like a princess, now it’s three kids later and only feels like I’ve blinked my eyes shut for a second. For years I dreamt of the day I’d become a mum for the first time and I’ve absolutely loved every waking moment (maybe not every lol) and a part of me wishes this part of my life would just stand still for a little while. Call me crazy but I could cry at the thought of never carrying another baby inside, feeling it kick for the first time, watching my belly grow, giving birth and experiencing the moments after that, breastfeeding, being the only one who can provide a source of food, snuggling and bonding with a newborn….yep definitely brings tears to my eyes!

But then I look at the three little blessings we have and take in consideration my heart condition and I know that it is time to say we are complete! Ideally if I didn’t have a heart condition I’d love to have just one more, but like my husband says I say that every time lol! Four would be a nice even number. With Sienna at school next year and Mia home for another three years, it would be nice to have two older ones and two little ones, but that isn’t going to be the case for us. Most days I’m completely at peace with this decision, but a teeny tiny part of me will always wish we had of. I knew from the minute my first born was placed in my arms that being a mum was the job I was meant to do and from that moment I have embraced each day and captured all the wonderful moments that I’ve been able to cherish while staying at home with each of them!

What has helped make this decision and allowed me to be at peace with it?
Well Mia for starters lol! I love this little bear more than life itself, but man she is full on lol! I often say if she was my first I probably would have only had one lol! But I seriously look at things realistically. Our house is just big enough for the five of us so another child would mean a bigger house and car for that matter and along with that comes an added expense! Two out of three of our children will be in school next year and before long they all will be. It’s nice to go out now and watch the three of our children have fun together. Mia still has a day sleep but we manage around that and she is getting to an age where she copes with whatever we do! And the most obvious reason is my heart. Mia was a blessing for us, so I’m very much at peace with the three angels I have and being healthy for them.

So with all of this said my mind is now adjusting to moving forward. We have so much to look forward to and as the kids grow older and start playing sport and being involved in extra curricular activities at school, we will be busier than ever! Before Mia was born, I always saw a third child sitting next to Bailey and Sienna. Now when I see my three cherubs sitting together I see a complete picture and that my friends is why I know my family is complete!

Our Sleeping Baby Is Looking Down on Us!

Posted on July 29, 2012 by natalietrew

Miscarriage. It’s a word that you hear so often these days. The statistics are quite high really with 1 in 8 women miscarrying and as small as 1 in four as a lot of miscarriages happen in the first two weeks of conception so aren’t actually recorded down, as women wouldn’t always realise they were pregnant. It makes you wonder why? What are we doing to our bodies? Is there something in our food? Is it contraception methods we used before wanting to fall pregnant? Lifestyle? My reason for writing this blog is to give women hope. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Up until then I had hardly heard of anyone having a miscarriage. But once I started to tell people, suddenly so many women started sharing their stories with me and I went from feeling so alone to feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Once I knew there were others around me who had experienced the same emotions of this particular loss, it actually helped with my healing process.

This is my story………
It’s been over 7 years now since I miscarried. We’d been married for almost 6 months. I couldn’t wait to start trying for a family of our own. If I had it my way I would have started on our wedding night, but we decided to wait for a few months and enjoy just being a married couple. A few months later, it was the start of a new year and we were on holidays so we figured there was no time like the present. I was hoping to be like the line of women in my family, who were instant breeding machines, but no such luck! Three months later though we were thrilled when the ‘YOU ARE PREGNANT’ line showed up on the stick! You cold not wipe the smile off both our faces, we were over the moon and couldn’t help but share our excitement with our family and close friends. Then the smile was wiped off my face when I was struck down with terrible morning sickness from the start! But I still smiled because I was going to be a mum!!!

Even though at this stage your baby is the size of a grain of rice, it is still a life and a life that you somehow bond with straightaway. From the minute you are given the confirmation of your pregnancy, you instantly start to plan in your head and you can’t help but love this life that you and your partner have created! I was just over 6 weeks when I started spotting. I remember it so clearly as I was at work and it was my birthday!!! I kept telling myself that everything was going to be ok. I went to my GP who ordered a scan and told me to go home and rest. I felt so helpless and completely useless for not being able to have any control over what was happening. I had a scan which showed nothing more than the fact that there was an embryo in my uterus with a heartbeat. This left me feeling very hopeful that everything would be ok. My GP was quite hopeful too and wanted me to have a week of bed rest and feet up, but he also told me that if anything was to happen at this stage of a pregnancy there is nothing they can do.

During the week I spent in bed I kept spotting on and off but nothing too serious. I kept telling my little baby rice grain to hang in there. It wasn’t until the sixth day in bed I work up feeling really positive that everything was going to be ok….this was obviously the calm before the storm. Mum had come over to check up on me and I felt like I was feeling better. I was sitting out the back on our garden bed in the sun and then things begun. I started getting period like cramps and I knew something wasn’t right. Within about half an hour or so from that first cramp, I passed a large blood clot and that signaled to me that my little baby rice grain couldn’t hold on anymore – I was 7 and a half weeks pregnant:( I went to the emergency department at the Mater Hospital who took great care of me. My blood test results confirmed that I had miscarried and I was booked in for a D and C (curette) the next morning! The whole thing happened so quickly and all I remember is I was left feeling guttered! It’s the worst feeling when something you want so desperately is given to you and then taken away from you without anyone having any control over it!

Arriving home from hospital was hard as it meant life had to begin again. It was the beginning of the healing process and the beginning of picking yourself up and moving on. I was so lucky as Kane was extremely sensitive and supportive of what I was going through and my family and friends were a huge help with all of their beautiful words of prayers and best wishes. Facing people for the first time was hard. Going back to work was the hardest. And of course everywhere I looked someone was pregnant or announcing they were pregnant. I was so happy for them but so sad for us! I felt so alone and even though my husband was experiencing a loss to, we physically go through something they’ll never know. But one thing that helped with my healing process, was talking to other women who had experienced a miscarriage as well. My beautiful mother was my rock as she had had a miscarriage at 16 weeks which was far more devastating then what I was going through. Mum had to give birth to her baby and had already felt it kick and was showing before she lost her baby. This allowed me to be thankful that I didn’t reach this point and that no matter how much pain and sadness I was going through, there is always someone else out there worse off than I!

A month passed and my cycle went straight back to normal. One good thing that came out of all of this was that I knew I was able to fall pregnant and this is what kept me positive. 6 weeks after I’d miscarried we were given our little miracle and today he is 6 years old….Bailey Kane Trew:) I often look at Bay and think if we didn’t have a miscarriage our only baby boy wouldn’t have been born. Since Bailey we went on to have two healthy baby girls, Sienna and Mia who are 4 and 18 months old. Of course with each pregnancy I always had an uneasy feeling that I would miscarry again, but I tried to not let that spoil the joy and excitement of what we were going through. I often wonder what our first little baby was and what it would have been like but now I have this vision that our baby that is sleeping is always looking down on us!

There is hope at the end of a miscarriage and I as well as so many women around the world are living proof of that. It makes me sad when I hear that someone has had a miscarriage, as it always brings me back to the day I was left feeling guttered and helpless. But with great support, determination and a positive attitude, the family you have always longed for will be created. The day I miscarried I remember thinking if I only have one baby I would be so grateful and grateful I am as I’ve been blessed with three of the most precious angels, which have helped us create our Party of 5!

“Somebody please talk to me!”

Posted on July 27, 2012 by natalietrew

When we first enter the unfamiliar world of parenting so many people are quick to give us advice on feeding, changing, sleeping, dummies, bottles and the like, but where is the advice on simple things and extremely important things like how important it is to speak to our children! I’ve been teaching just over a decade now and one common deficiency I’m seeing more and more is the number of children who are coming to prep with a lack of oral language skills!

Whether it be their lack of ability to ask a question, respond to a question, follow an instruction, speak in simple sentences or being able to be understood, are all problems little people are facing when entering the school system. From the second our babies are born into this world, their little ears are responding to noise and the most precious gift a mother can give to her baby is her voice!
I think the problem is we forget to talk to our babies until they start responding first with a noise or a word, but a babies first response without noise is eye contact and listening to what is being said to them! We know ourselves if we are unable to use our voice we use eye contact as a way to communicate and we attain information by listening and that is what a baby does.

I can’t help myself, from the time my babies take their first breath I’m in their face talking to them. Between a nappy change, feeding, bathing, burping and playing, these are all perfect opportunities to bond with our babies and expose them to language. I’ve always taken these opportunities to sing a nursery rhyme, tell them about the wonderful things of the world or simply explain what I’m doing – “mummy is going to change your nappy”, “it’s bedtime now” right from birth my babies have heard cues like this. Our babies are like sponges and they are learning from a newborn. It’s amazing as they get older you see the benefit of talking to your baby. My youngest is almost 18 months and her language is evolving everyday! Not only is she communicating clearly through a variety of words, her receptive language (understanding what we say) is fantastic! Last year when my son was in prep, one thing his teacher always complimented him on was his oral language and my daughter’s preschool teacher just recently said how well she holds a conversation.

It makes me think that so many wonderful mothers, who if educated properly on this subject, would take it on board more. It’s common knowledge that reading to our babies as early as in utero is so important for our children, but very rarely do you read a lot of information about just generally talking to our babies. We are already a part of a world where speaking is becoming less and less due to an abundance of technology compared to even 10 years ago! It’s so easy to forget to do something so simple especially when life is so busy all the time, but if we made a habit of it and integrated talking to our children into our day to day chores and routines, it wouldn’t seem like work then.

It makes me sad to think that there are so many babies being born who spend their first five years with very little exposure to a wide variety of language and that all they needed from day one was someone to consistently engage with them. Our babies need to learn how to communicate orally as god knows by the time they are 10 and discover all the ins and outs of technology, talking becomes less and less. I always wondered when my babies were little babies and would look up at me, what they were thinking….I’m sure they were saying in their head “somebody please talk to me!” and that is what I’ve always done!

Mia only days old listening to me…….she doesn’t seem very interested in what I’m saying, but she will thank me one day for all the stories and bits of information I’ve told her:)

Teacher By Profession….Mother For Life!

Posted on July 18, 2012 by natalietrew

I’ve been a teacher for almost 11 years now…longer than I’ve been a mum! Before I had children of my own, my life was teaching and my children per say were my students! Pre-children I loved being a teacher! I would go to the ends of the earth to create a unit of work or innovating activity for my students to gain a learning experience from! I would spend my days being not only a teacher but a surrogate parent to some, nurse, psychologist and the like! I planned excursions, camps, multicultural events, coached netball and made many a phone call to parents regarding their child’s well being!

Then I became a mum. My love of teaching never left me, but something did change and that is the way I think now! I’m not for one second trying to imply teachers who are mums are better than teachers who aren’t, but since becoming a mum, I look at things differently now and am quite a different teacher than I use to be! Pre-children I was such a control freak really when I think about it, but it worked and I always got the best results out of my students academically and behaviourally! I would ring a parent or refer a student for a problem and it didn’t affect me as bad as it does it does now!

For the past few years I’ve been teaching in special Ed or behaviour positions so I’ve found myself in many situations where my heart has ached for a child…I’ve become such a softy and even though I’ve always been an empathetic person, now I’m a mum my empathy has changed if that makes sense?? I always think now imagine if that was my child or me receiving the phone call! I tread so lighting around parents now and how I approach a subject as the child in discussion is their baby just like I have babies!

Being a teacher can be a good thing and a bad thing when you are a mum! We have a good knowledge of so many areas that can benefit our own children, but then we know too much about other things and the worst thing a teaching mum does is diagnose their own child! We spend so much of our time hoping and praying that our children aren’t going to struggle at school, when provided we allow a safe and supportive environment from the day they were born, we sometimes just have to realise we don’t always have control over this!

Then that day finally arrives for your own child to start school and your professional role has to take a back seat while your mummy role takes precedent! It was weird at first being a school mum. You feel as the ‘teacher’s’ child, they should always be the best role model and doing the best in the class! I soon let all those feelings go because I didn’t want to put my child under anymore pressure than what kids are already under these days!

My son is in grade one now and up until last month I haven’t been in the position that I as a teacher have had to corner a parent during drop off or pick up! It was those handful of words that you dread to hear from your child’s teacher….”I need to speak with you!” I’ve been waiting for this moment though. You see my son Bailey has always presented a lot of behaviours on the spectrum and although he is perfect at school and leaves those behaviours and melt downs for home, I’ve been waiting for the call to let me know those behaviours have been presenting at school.

Of course I expected the worst and any experience of being a teacher didn’t matter at all, as this time I was the mum being delivered the information. Thankfully it wasn’t anything relating to his behaviour. This one moment that a teacher took to speak to me though has led to a chain of events. She was concerned about his hearing and understanding what she was saying, we had a meeting with Bailey about this and things improved a little. I then took him to my GP to see if he needed an auditory processing assessment done, he noticed Bailey’s ears are full of fluid again and after having a hearing test, we found out that Bailey has a complete blocked ear and one that isn’t very flash! A trip then to our ENT ended in us now having to wait to see if the fluid will drain otherwise he will end up with his fourth set of grommets!

My poor boy has obviously been sitting in class and not hearing things as clearly as he should. The mum in me wants to hug him tight and wrap him up in cotton wool, but the teacher in me is working hard to make sure he is in a learning environment that can cater to his needs at the moment! Thankfully Bailey goes to a wonderful school with a very supportive admin and his teacher is just fantastic! This situation has highlighted even more to me how important a teacher is in our children’s lives and more importantly how important it is a parent and teacher work together!

We have been through so much with Bailey and even though my professional job deals with children like Bailey all the time, nothing prepares you for when things happen to your own child and the shoes on the other foot. I am so
proud of his achievements so far and as I read his first report card yesterday it brought a tear to my eye how awesome our son really is! I am a teacher by profession, but I’m a mother for life and I try everyday to make sure I distinguish between the two roles as best as I possibly can!

Just Breathe!

Posted on June 16, 2012 by natalietrew

It takes 9 months for a baby to grow in utero and once the baby is born our job as a mum lasts forever, but the one thing that takes the shortest amount of time, but causes us the most grief, is child birth! The idea of me writing a blog about child birth is certainly not to boast about my experience, as everyone’s stories are different and the way each baby is born into this world is unique! The idea of this blog is to get the message out there on the importance of deep BREATHING when giving birth!!!

It took me to give birth three times and a heart condition for me to experience the power of breathing (and a great midwife) when birthing your baby! When I was in labour for the first time I thought I was going to pass out from the pain and breathe – how could I think of anything other than the pain I was in! You’ll never know what to expect the first time nor can anyone really explain it, it’s one of those you have to experience it to believe it moments…..in my opinion – keep an open mind! The clearest memory of giving birth to my first born was pushing, pushing and more pushing!!!!! This left me with the sorest bottom and my pelvic floor muscles were ruined….didn’t help that he was 9 pound 5 at 38 weeks!

I couldn’t sit down properly for days and felt like I had very little control over my bladder. I worked with a physio on building my pelvic floor muscles again but they took months and months to strengthen. I remember doing a body combat class with my sister feeling like I was going to wet myself every time I jumped in the air….not my finest hour lol! Then when I was pregnant with my second baby I thought about labour a lot! You have a better understanding the second time round and my plan was to not push so much but to breathe more! It took me one hour and 15 mins to push my first baby out, so when my second baby came out in 20 mins, I thought for sure that my downstairs would be better off….I was wrong! Again I was left with a terribly sore bottom and the usual poor bladder control and once again I remember doing a lot of pushing to get that baby out!!!! Again giving birth to a 10 pound 2 baby was never going to help the situation:/

When I fell pregnant for the third time, my second child was 2 so a couple of years of healing and my body was back to normal, only for me to go and destroy it again lol! Once again I thought a lot about the labour and had a plan to let my breathing do the work, but it sounds good in theory, putting it into practice is a whole different story! I just kept thinking my second labour was so much quicker than my first this has to be quicker again! It would have been if things went to plan….but they didn’t:( At 37 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with a heart condition. Because of this, I had to be induced and have my labour monitored carefully! The conditions of me having a natural birth and not a c-section, was that I have an epidural and an assisted delivery! I was determined not to have either!

I know most of you would be thinking what a silly choice when my life was potentially at risk! I had faith in my body, who had already birthed two babies, that it wasn’t going to let me down and thank goodness it didn’t! Being induced ruined any plans for the quick labour I envisioned, but once I finally hit established labour things progressed pretty quickly! I was under strict instructions NOT TO PUSH, so of course when I was completely dilated and had the feeling of pressure, what’s the bodies natural reaction….to push! Thankfully I had the most beautiful midwife who took charge of the situation and was very firm with her instructions….”Natalie you are going to have your baby and you are not going to push her out, your breathing is going to do all the work!” It took so much of my energy not to push and so much of my concentration to listen to the breathing cues from my midwife, but I did it! After half an hour of wanting to push until my little poppet was born, I did NOT push her out like I did her brother and sister, I listened to my midwife and used the technique of deep breathing!

I was amazed at how it all panned out and was so grateful that my pelvic floor muscles and bladder control were pretty close to normal. For the first time ever after having a baby, I didn’t even feel like I’d given birth…I was also grateful she was my smallest at 8 pound 13! I knew my body wouldn’t let me down and thankfully neither did my heart! I still remember my midwife and what she said to get me through it…she even had my support people breathing too which encouraged me not to give up! God love them, if only we all knew how silly we looked and sounded lol!

When I started my plan to get fit 8 months after my daughter was born, I was worried how my pelvic floor muscles would go when I ran, but all is great! I’m living proof that a baby can be born through the power of breathing and that we can walk away from giving birth, without having to experience too much difficulty with one of the most delicate parts of a female’s body!

Middle Child Syndrome…..does it really exist?

Posted on June 14, 2012 by natalietrew

Middle child syndrome. People say it’s just a myth and maybe it is. Maybe it doesn’t exist in every household, but it certainly does in ours!

Meet my middle child….Sienna Lynette Trew!

When Sienna was born she was everything everyone in our family longed for! After having 3 rowdy boys, my sister who lives in Melbourne had twins – a boy and a girl….finally a granddaughter! But we still had all these boys in Brisbane, but at 11.57am, on the 30th of June, weighing in at a whopping 10 pound 2, our little Sie Sie girl was born and everyone was over the moon that a second little granddaughter was to join our family! She was a beautiful baby:) When I gave birth to her I pulled her out and she was placed on my chest and there she stayed with her eyes wide open, not crying, just looking around and checking out the world and the life she was about to embark on!

Bailey and Sienna were inseparable from the minute she was born. There is two years and four months between them but that gap has always felt much closer! Their personalities complimented one another for a while there, as Bailey was always so highly strung and Sienna so placid and easy going. Sienna was seriously the best toddler that you could come across and many a times while Bailey was having a moment, I would turn to Sie Sie and her beautiful beaming smile would let me know that everything would be ok….she was my shining light in a moment of darkness!

I always wanted three children, but when Sienna started having all her ear problems like Bailey and then when she turned 2 life started to become easier, our thoughts suddenly turned to – do we really want to upset the apple cart?? Then unbeknown to us I was actually pregnant at Sienna’s 2nd birthday party! I was never worried about middle child syndrome, it was Sienna the most carefree child, how could she ever be affected by anything?? Didn’t things change….! Sienna and I have always shared a special bond right from the minute she was born and one of the first thoughts I had when I found out I was pregnant, was “Sie Sie won’t be my baby anymore:(!” Being a parent feels like a constant guilt trip and this was one of those moments!

During my pregnancy, Sienna loved being involved with my growing belly and was always so fascinated by the whole baby thing and never seemed jealous at all! I made sure I included both the kids in everything as I didn’t want them to feel left out! Bailey was verbally disappointed when we found out we were having a girl, but Sienna was happy to be getting a little sister. I was about 35 weeks pregnant when Bailey started prep and this was the day that my quiet, placid, easy going girl disappeared and even though she is still in there and comes out every now and again, her heart from the day her little mate went to school, was left with a hole in it! Then if that wasn’t big enough, a few weeks later she became a big sister to Mia! That’s a lot for a little person to process and deal with! This is where middle child syndrome started to come out in our house!

In my opinion when you have 3 children middle child syndrome seems somehow unavoidable! I’m very conscious of it and tried everything in my power to eliminate it from happening, but somewhere along the way, when I was dealing with a reflux baby and a tired prep student, Sienna become lost in it all! Everything became all about Bailey starting school and along with that came special performances and fetes, homework and awards….Bailey, Bailey, Bailey! Then of course everything is about the baby because they are the most dependent child in the house….Mia, Mia, Mia! No wonder Sienna would just sit and scream at us if she didn’t get her own way! My placid girl who had never chucked a tantrum before the age of 2 and a half, turned into tantrum city, attitude plus and this affected everything then – including her sleep! It was just a spiral of events for a while there!

These days my little Sie Sie girl still suffers from middle child syndrome. She idolises her big brother and little sister and tries so hard to impress them both all day! She often gets her heart broken by both of them which breaks my heart to see! And we still deal with some behaviour issues, but in general she is a pretty good girl and has improved since starting preschool at the beginning of the year. I make a point of spending one on one time with her, as out of the three of my children, she has missed out on the one on one time that Bailey had before she was born and Mia will get when Sienna goes to prep next year!

Next year is Sienna’s year! She starts prep and I’m going to let her choose a sport of her choice. She spends all her time supporting her big brother at his school functions and football matches, it will now be her time to shine and shine she will! No matter how being the middle child has affected her, she is still my shining light in a dark moment. When Bailey is having a melt down and I’m cleaning up something of Mia’s for the 100th time, my middle child is always right behind me telling me “I’m being a good girl for you mummy!”…..god bless her cotton socks:)!

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