It’s been 10 months now since I started my journey to regain my pre-baby body back. I choose to do this for myself, nobody else!! One thing I’ve noticed more now since losing my weight and getting fit is the surprised look on people’s faces when I tell them I have 3 children!!! “You have three children?!” “And you look like that!” is what I hear a lot! As flattering as it can be, it also makes me feel a little uncomfortable! It got me thinking….Why does it have to be a shock? And how does what I look like depict whether I fit the ‘motherly’ role or not?! Isn’t it a good thing that I’m promoting health and fitness to my children. Yes I’m a mum but that doesn’t mean I should give up on myself!!! Society creates stereotypes of specific people and roles and it’s becoming just so frustrating! If we spent more time worrying about the type of mother, father, teacher or doctor people are rather than how they look, the world would be a far more friendly place to live in!
I am a firm believer of the phrase ‘each to their own!’ Like I stated above, I look the way I do for myself, nobody else and being the shape and size I am doesn’t define me as a mother. The love in my heart for my children, the sacrifices I make and the way I parent is what defines me! I don’t for one minute expect other mothers to exercise how I do or eat what I eat, everyone is their own person and makes their own decisions in life! Ok so I agree not all of us but a lot of us put weight on during pregnancy. Some of us find it easy to lose it after our babies are born and some of us don’t! Some of us find the motivation easily and some of us need more encouragement and some of us are just happy as is! But why can’t that be good enough? You lose weight you’re questioned. You don’t lose weight you’re questioned. And it’s not just the weight issue, it’s the age you are when you first become a mum, how you discipline, if you breast feed, where your baby sleeps, arrrrrrr feels like you just can’t win!!!!!!!
I feel mums are stereotyped more than dads are too! If a dad is fit, slim and healthy no one questions them. It seems to be dads can just be as they are and not many people question them at all! It’s not enough that just being a mum is such a busy 24/7 job, but we are always made to feel like we have to live to these high expectations all the time! Not for me anymore! Society is creating a selfish and nasty place out there now and it really disappoints me that people behave the way they do. I’m happy to say that I’m a mum because I want to be and I take my mum job seriously. I’ve seen such a huge shift in mums over the past 6 years of being a mum. When my first was born, I use to go to play groups and Gymboree and met some lovely mums along the way. We would talk about our babies but mostly we would just talk. Now when I go to playgrounds or play groups you over hear a lot of conversations about those high expectations I was talking about! Why are some mums so competitive, judgemental and spend more time worrying about what others think?!
You would think a room full of mums and their children would be such a lovely place to be, but in truth it can be the opposite sometimes! I love meeting new people and being a mum is such a popular thing to have in common with someone, therefore should be easy to strike up a conversation or relate to each other, but it doesn’t always seem to be! The sad thing is, mums can be hard work! Being a teacher, I meet and see so many different mothers and some are so easy to communicate with and relay information to and others not so much! As a mum we are our children’s advocates I get that well and truly, but sometimes some mums go a bit too far! Is it because so much pressure is put on us to create perfection? The sad thing is while parents are trying to mould this ‘perfect’ child, the real basic and important fundamentals that should be taught are being missed.
Life just seems so full of high expectations, ideal ways and competitiveness and while some of this is important at times, I think we need to go back to some of the old fashioned ways of living life for yourself and not how other people perceive you should! My Party of 5 is the most important thing to me! Being a mum and wife is the most important role in life. What I do I do for myself and my children not for anyone else! I have opinions but know when to state them appropriately. With each child I’ve learnt to chill out as a mum and not get caught up in the controversial issues that come with being a mum. I will continue to be myself for myself and no stereotypical way of being a mum will stop me from looking the way I do! So to answer the question I’ve been asked so frequently lately….”yes I’m a mum of three and I’m very proud of it!” No matter who you are, being your own person is far easy than being someone that everyone else thinks you should be!