I love this time of my life! In the past 10 years I’ve married my true love, bought a house that we’ve turned into a home and produced three of the most adorable babies we could have ever wished for! All while going through many ups and downs which is called LIFE! We’ve come to the crossroads of the reproductive part of our life when a decision needs to be made….are we complete yet?
For some people that question is very easy to answer, most people know while they are pregnant with a baby that it will be their last, but for me I always knew letting go of having any more babies wouldn’t be an easy decision. I feel like this has come upon me so quickly! It only feels like yesterday I was trying on my wedding dress and wearing it like a princess, now it’s three kids later and only feels like I’ve blinked my eyes shut for a second. For years I dreamt of the day I’d become a mum for the first time and I’ve absolutely loved every waking moment (maybe not every lol) and a part of me wishes this part of my life would just stand still for a little while. Call me crazy but I could cry at the thought of never carrying another baby inside, feeling it kick for the first time, watching my belly grow, giving birth and experiencing the moments after that, breastfeeding, being the only one who can provide a source of food, snuggling and bonding with a newborn….yep definitely brings tears to my eyes!
But then I look at the three little blessings we have and take in consideration my heart condition and I know that it is time to say we are complete! Ideally if I didn’t have a heart condition I’d love to have just one more, but like my husband says I say that every time lol! Four would be a nice even number. With Sienna at school next year and Mia home for another three years, it would be nice to have two older ones and two little ones, but that isn’t going to be the case for us. Most days I’m completely at peace with this decision, but a teeny tiny part of me will always wish we had of. I knew from the minute my first born was placed in my arms that being a mum was the job I was meant to do and from that moment I have embraced each day and captured all the wonderful moments that I’ve been able to cherish while staying at home with each of them!
What has helped make this decision and allowed me to be at peace with it?
Well Mia for starters lol! I love this little bear more than life itself, but man she is full on lol! I often say if she was my first I probably would have only had one lol! But I seriously look at things realistically. Our house is just big enough for the five of us so another child would mean a bigger house and car for that matter and along with that comes an added expense! Two out of three of our children will be in school next year and before long they all will be. It’s nice to go out now and watch the three of our children have fun together. Mia still has a day sleep but we manage around that and she is getting to an age where she copes with whatever we do! And the most obvious reason is my heart. Mia was a blessing for us, so I’m very much at peace with the three angels I have and being healthy for them.
So with all of this said my mind is now adjusting to moving forward. We have so much to look forward to and as the kids grow older and start playing sport and being involved in extra curricular activities at school, we will be busier than ever! Before Mia was born, I always saw a third child sitting next to Bailey and Sienna. Now when I see my three cherubs sitting together I see a complete picture and that my friends is why I know my family is complete!