The Dark Side of Social Media!

Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, Blogspot just to name a few are all fun and games until people start to get nasty! Over the past couple of days, I’ve come across a few bloggers who have felt they had to defend themselves from something they’ve put on their Facebook pages. One mum apologised for ‘bragging’ about something great her children have done and another mum felt she had to defend herself as a ‘fit enough’ mother as she posted a photo of her three children sitting on her kitchen bench! What the?? Seriously people where is the nice positive energy that this already filled with hatred and filth earth needs!!!

I was completely taken aback when I was reading what these mums felt they had to say to clear their names of any misdoing! Last night I was reading a piece from one mum’s blog about how someone had left their condolences for the tragic accidental passing of her young son, but then went on to say how as parents we must never take our eyes off our children. She was guttered. She lives with guilt everyday but some despicable person had to lay judgement and make her feel worse! I’m an avid blogger and Facebook fan. It is my choice to put myself, my life, my thoughts and ideas out there to be judged and scrutinised, but one would hope that people would keep their negative comments to themselves. Thankfully for me, I have had nothing but positive feedback from my viewers and anyone who thinks otherwise has kept their comments to themselves! But obviously that’s not always the case for everyone….

Social media is such a huge part of most people’s everyday lives these days, which can be a good and bad thing, but it really comes with a dark side! I guess like anything it’s great when it’s all positive, but can leave someone feeling terrible when things start turning negative! It’s so easy for someone to leave a nasty comment or statement when they aren’t meeting face to face with people, but it still demonstrates how awful people can be! Quite often I’ll read something on Facebook or in someone’s blog post that I may not agree with, but I would never write anything that would leave a person feeling angry or upset…even if they don’t know me from a bar of soap! Sometimes things are best to be left unsaid!!!

20130721-144811.jpg

The group of people who often are an easy target is usually us mums! And most times it’s other mums having their negative opinion!! It seems to be the minute a parenting topic arises it opens up a can of worms for competition! Or the minute someone is beaming with pride and happiness, someone is swooping in telling them their bad luck story to drag them down – Facebook is so bad for this!!! When I read this week about the mum who apologised for always sharing good news stuff about her life because people left comments about how her ‘happy’ life made them feel bad – it made me think do people feel like that about me?!?! I’m one of those people who instagram, blog and Facebook all the great things that happen in my life!! I could post all the time about the negative stuff, but where would that get me?!?!? I know it takes all types for the world to go round, but it would be so nice if we could all be happy for each other when things are going right and support it each other when things are tough!

I guess the point of writing this blog post is certainly not to stir the social media pot (which is being done enough by a lot of people all over the world) but to post this in the hope that some of the people who don’t think before they comment read this and think twice next time! I know once we decide to post something on a social media forum we leave ourself open to judgement, but it would be nice to think that the good old fashion moral of ‘if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all’ would apply! My biggest concern from this sort of thing happening now is that kids are jumping on the social media bandwagon younger and younger…like I said above, this world is already full of so much hate and filth, let’s all jump on the positive side of life…it’s so much nicer on this side!!!

20130721-144533.jpg

Advertisements

“Yes I’m a mum of three children!!”

It’s been 10 months now since I started my journey to regain my pre-baby body back. I choose to do this for myself, nobody else!! One thing I’ve noticed more now since losing my weight and getting fit is the surprised look on people’s faces when I tell them I have 3 children!!! “You have three children?!” “And you look like that!” is what I hear a lot! As flattering as it can be, it also makes me feel a little uncomfortable! It got me thinking….Why does it have to be a shock? And how does what I look like depict whether I fit the ‘motherly’ role or not?! Isn’t it a good thing that I’m promoting health and fitness to my children. Yes I’m a mum but that doesn’t mean I should give up on myself!!! Society creates stereotypes of specific people and roles and it’s becoming just so frustrating! If we spent more time worrying about the type of mother, father, teacher or doctor people are rather than how they look, the world would be a far more friendly place to live in!

I am a firm believer of the phrase ‘each to their own!’ Like I stated above, I look the way I do for myself, nobody else and being the shape and size I am doesn’t define me as a mother. The love in my heart for my children, the sacrifices I make and the way I parent is what defines me! I don’t for one minute expect other mothers to exercise how I do or eat what I eat, everyone is their own person and makes their own decisions in life! Ok so I agree not all of us but a lot of us put weight on during pregnancy. Some of us find it easy to lose it after our babies are born and some of us don’t! Some of us find the motivation easily and some of us need more encouragement and some of us are just happy as is! But why can’t that be good enough? You lose weight you’re questioned. You don’t lose weight you’re questioned. And it’s not just the weight issue, it’s the age you are when you first become a mum, how you discipline, if you breast feed, where your baby sleeps, arrrrrrr feels like you just can’t win!!!!!!!

I feel mums are stereotyped more than dads are too! If a dad is fit, slim and healthy no one questions them. It seems to be dads can just be as they are and not many people question them at all! It’s not enough that just being a mum is such a busy 24/7 job, but we are always made to feel like we have to live to these high expectations all the time! Not for me anymore! Society is creating a selfish and nasty place out there now and it really disappoints me that people behave the way they do. I’m happy to say that I’m a mum because I want to be and I take my mum job seriously. I’ve seen such a huge shift in mums over the past 6 years of being a mum. When my first was born, I use to go to play groups and Gymboree and met some lovely mums along the way. We would talk about our babies but mostly we would just talk. Now when I go to playgrounds or play groups you over hear a lot of conversations about those high expectations I was talking about! Why are some mums so competitive, judgemental and spend more time worrying about what others think?!

You would think a room full of mums and their children would be such a lovely place to be, but in truth it can be the opposite sometimes! I love meeting new people and being a mum is such a popular thing to have in common with someone, therefore should be easy to strike up a conversation or relate to each other, but it doesn’t always seem to be! The sad thing is, mums can be hard work! Being a teacher, I meet and see so many different mothers and some are so easy to communicate with and relay information to and others not so much! As a mum we are our children’s advocates I get that well and truly, but sometimes some mums go a bit too far! Is it because so much pressure is put on us to create perfection? The sad thing is while parents are trying to mould this ‘perfect’ child, the real basic and important fundamentals that should be taught are being missed.

Life just seems so full of high expectations, ideal ways and competitiveness and while some of this is important at times, I think we need to go back to some of the old fashioned ways of living life for yourself and not how other people perceive you should! My Party of 5 is the most important thing to me! Being a mum and wife is the most important role in life. What I do I do for myself and my children not for anyone else! I have opinions but know when to state them appropriately. With each child I’ve learnt to chill out as a mum and not get caught up in the controversial issues that come with being a mum. I will continue to be myself for myself and no stereotypical way of being a mum will stop me from looking the way I do! So to answer the question I’ve been asked so frequently lately….”yes I’m a mum of three and I’m very proud of it!” No matter who you are, being your own person is far easy than being someone that everyone else thinks you should be!

20120822-165025.jpg