What Becomes of a Broken Heart?

Life is precious. Life is a treasure. But sometimes life is just unfair!!! After watching my nana suffer with Parkinson’s Disease for the past 5 years, we found ourselves saying a lot, that is was just ‘unfair’ that nana had to live out her life with a debilitating disease that day by day took her ability to live a good quality life. Then to pass away the way that she did, we found ourselves again saying that it was just unfair!!! Our hearts broke in a million pieces the day nana took her last breath on this earth…now what becomes of our broken hearts??

If that wasn’t bad enough, last night my cousin and her husband had to say goodbye to their precious baby boy at the young age of 6 weeks old. Now how ‘unfair’ is that! Having to cope with a broken heart from losing a love one is one thing, but losing your child has to be the most unfair card dealt in a lifetime…now what becomes of their broken hearts!

17 years ago my uncle lost his wife, 7 years later his first-born child was tragically killed in a car accident – again how ‘unfair’ is that and what has become of his broken heart??

There are so many sayings that keep going through my head:
Whatever doesn’t break you makes you stronger…
Things happen for a reason…
Things happen to people who can handle it…
But why does it need to happen in the first place!?!?

This year has been terrible! I feel like it’s been one bad news story after another and not just with our family with lots of people! Every time I turn the news on or read any social media, someone is grieving or someone is fighting for their life….from this means lots of broken hearts have happened – what becomes of them?

I believe I am a very positive person and try not to let things get me down. But lately, with what our family has been through over the past few months you do start to question the faith that you’ve always held!

As my beautiful family try and start to rebuild the faith that has been lost of late, I’m trying to keep a positive mind and focus on the things that do become of a broken heart…
*strength
*courage
*character building
*the bond of a family unit becomes even more united
*the legacy our loved ones have left, allow us to keep moving forward in memory of them!

No one can mend a broken heart, time is the only thing that will help it to heal. The time is not measurable but with the love and support of family and friends around it sure helps take the edge off!

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Don’t Lose Sight!

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Life can be hard. It can be complicated. When you think you have it figured out and it seems as though things are sailing along nicely, that’s when you can almost guarantee that something will be layed out as a hurdle in your path to happiness. But that’s just life isn’t it!

In the 33 years that I’ve lived, my family and I have been through many ups and downs. The cycle usually consists of everyone going about their business – living, loving, laughing while working hard and then usually it only takes the ring of a phone to create a new sequence of events. We’ve been there for each other through deaths, injuries, illnesses and loss but as much as we feel upset, disheartened, heart-broken or depressed at the time, we find the strength to pick ourselves up and move forward in the direction we were heading when that phone call was made!

This year has seen so many things happen already. It’s been one thing after another and just as you feel as though you are standing upright from the last knock, you are facing the ground again! Our recent mishap for our family happened on Sunday. While our very talented nephew, who has a very promising rugby league future ahead of him, was playing footy, ran 100m towards his try line and instead of scoring he was tackled around his ankles, which ended with his lower leg being broken in three places. How things can change in a split second and from one simple action.

We were guttered for him. His season that just started, the week commencing which involved Broncos training, rep training and the start of his high school football has been put on hold until further notice! He is our champion, to us he was invincible. But no one is invincible, at anytime anything can happen to anyone of us. And I guess that’s the joys of rugby league. It’s been a massive few days. Watching my first-born nephew who is like a son to me take the pain not only from his leg and having it surgically fixed where a plate was inserted, but the pain of having to put his love of life on hold, all in his stride. He’s been so brave through it all, as has my sister and brother-in-law. I’m just so proud to call them my family.

Which brings me to why I wrote this blog. Plenty of people everyday are faced with ill-health, broken bones and situations that seem unbearable, but it’s a bump in the road that I believe has been put their to test our passion and strength. Situations like these can make or break a person, but life is too short to let it take us down! Life is precious and it’s there to be lived and enjoyed. It needs to be nurtured. Since finding out about my heart condition (although I’d rather not have it), it has been the best thing that could have happened. I’m now the fittest I’ve ever been (mentally and physically), the healthiest I’ve ever been and when we are faced with situations that aren’t pleasant, I feel as though I’m a much stronger person when dealing with whatever it is! My heart condition has not allowed me to lose sight of living a great life, it’s given me the determination to live life to its fullest!

My nephew’s broken leg is terrible, it’s disappointing, but it’s just a bump in his road. Him and I had a good talk last night about not letting it disheartened him enough to lose sight of the bigger picture. This situation I believe will show us just how passionate he is about his rugby league career and when he has made a full recovery and returns to the game, he will be bigger, better and stronger than we’ve already seen.

I believe things happen for a reason. Sometimes we figure these reasons out and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes that answer comes to us straightaway and other times it can take days, months and even years. But in all of life’s mishaps it’s so important not to lose sight. Life is about being challenged and it takes guts, strength and determination for these challenges to not knock us down. As humans we are allowed to feel upset when things are going wrong, we are allowed to shed tears or scream to the sky above. But we should never feel as though we are defeated!

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My Direction Has Taken a Wrong Turn:/

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It’s quite ironic as I read my ‘Power of the Mind’ blog I wrote a week ago and my last few words read…..”I couldn’t be happier!” and now from my sick bed where I’ve layed for the the past 5 days I’m trying to be happy, but really I’m just feeling really crappy……

I was feeling so focussed, in control of everything I needed to be in control of! My job is so busy at the moment with reports and deadlines due before the school holidays. I was at the peak of my fitness and feeling really content in most areas of my life and then Monday night is where things took a wrong turn!

Of course my husband had a week of work to do away in Moree so it was single parent duties for me, but that’s ok I’ve done it before and I’m getting pretty good at it now:) I left work later than anticipated, but managed to pick Sie Sie up, got home cooked a big batch of bolognaise, bathed and fed the kids and myself, cleaned up, got all the school stuff ready for the next day and the kids and I were all sitting down by 6.30 enjoying cuddles and giggles together!

By 7.30 all were sound asleep in bed and then the time of day which I LOVE was about to be enjoyed. As I got all cosy on the lounge with my iPad and remote I suddenly felt cramps in my belly. I didn’t think too much about it as I thought I must have pigged out too much on dinner! I went to bed at my normal time after The Voice and the cramps were still there! Thankfully I fell fast asleep but then 1.30am approached and my wrong turn became a bad turn of events! I took some panadol and managed to get back to sleep until Mia woke up crying her little eyes out at 4.45am! When I looked at the clock I thought “Nooooooo!” Mummy’s cuddles got her back to sleep and I then went back to sleep and woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a bus:( I had an hour until I was to leave for work, so as much as my body was screaming “do not get up!” I knew I just had to do it!!!

So I did I got up did the usual – made the beds, got the kids breakfast, took one mouthful of my cereal and have pretty much been on my back since! I couldn’t stand up. I started shivering uncontrollably and once I made it to the lounge not one bit of soul in my body was able to get up! I was like this for 48-72 hours. I went from shivering to sweating, had severe body aches, fevers, cramps in my belly and of course the joys of gastro! I obviously didn’t go to work and thank goodness for my sweet angel of a mother, who came to my rescue until Kane came back from Moree, otherwise my poor kids would have done a lot of fending for themselves!

It’s day 5 now and I’m still not over this awful virus, better, but not a 100%! I’ve had a lot of time to think this week. This is the 4th time I’ve been sick in the last two months. Prior to all of this I hadn’t had anything bad since winter last year! I know it’s the season for it but four things in two months! And I’m the mum, I can’t keep getting sick. My poor little darlings ask me everyday “are you better mummy?” They are use to seeing mummy leading the pack, running, darting from here and there and the only time I reside on the lounge is after dinner at night!

I’m now left feeling weak, tired, drained and overwhelmed at the feeling of picking myself up and getting things back on track! I weighed myself….I’m down to my wedding day weight! Most people would be excited about this, but that wasn’t my goal! I was 24 back then and carried it better, now I look like a sick stick figure which is not what I was hoping to achieve! I have no reserves left and cannot afford to get sick again! I questioned: why me when I’m so fit and healthy? This is it….people who are fit are at risk to not being able to fight off germs and I look back now and I was always sick when I was younger and at the peak of my fitness! You can’t win really! I’ve gone from one extreme to the next where I’m now facing changing my eating and exercise plan to put on weight so I can get back to the fit and healthy me! So my advice is: when losing weight get back to a nice comfortable weight and have room for reserves if you get sick. I was that at my 60kgs, but I’m now playing with fire and have no reserves left!

I know I can do this and I will do this! My direction has taken a wrong turn, but I’m going to turn things around with all the strength and knowledge I’ve gained over the past 8 months and will be back in the right direction in no time!

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Maintaining the Groove!

It’s been 7 months now since I took the first and hardest step of putting on my running shoes and getting the courage to become fit again. It’s been a fantastic 7 months and I’ve been able to achieve some great goals! Since my ‘Jackpot’ post, I’ve achieved my goal weight by losing 10kgs and new PBs for both my 4km and 5km runs! My new PB for 4km is 20.38 mins and for 5km is 27.33 mins!
I’m so close to achieving my new goals which are 4km in 20 mins flat and 5km in 25 mins flat:)

When I say it’s been a fantastic 7 months it has been, up until the last month. I was doing so well. Keeping up my exercise plan of half an hour a day 6 days a week, which included running 3-4 times a week and power walking the other days! But three bouts of illness has proven to be a challenge, but I was so determined not to let any of my hard work be jeopardised!

I’m not a silly person and I know when my body needs rest or not. On the days I was sick I rested but when I felt well, I would exercise even if it meant walking more that week than running. I only ever run when I know I feel awesome! As long as I move in some way each day for half an hour, I am happy:) Even after a whirlwind month I’ve managed to maintain my fitness and goal weight loss. I don’t find it difficult anymore, it’s a part of my everyday life now….I’ve officially got my groove on!

In the past week or so I’ve changed my running routine a bit. I was starting to get a little bored with my route and was wanting a new challenge so I’ve changed my running route which now includes hills…7 of the suckers to be fact! I run this route about 1-2 times a week and it’s already making a difference to when I go back to running my original 4 and 5 km route. I’m hoping this will help me reach my new goals.

I believe that everything we do is mind over matter and once you become comfortable in a good mind set, things will fall into place how you want it to! It then becomes a matter of maintaining the groove that you originally worked so hard to get!

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