As the softness of her breath became slower and slower and eventually became her last, her soul left our world and ventured into another…..

When nana left us 11 weeks ago, everything for us stopped. Our hearts broke, our tears fell and we felt like we were never going to be the same again. The lady who we loved and adored was never to be apart of our lives on earth again. As we left the hospital that day though, life on the outside kept going. Everything around us kept going like nothing had changed, but for us we had to come to terms with the biggest change in our lives so far! It was a hard pill to swallow at first. We were breaking on the inside but to the outside world nothing had changed!

The minutes kept ticking, days kept flashing by, traffic lights kept changing, the sun kept rising and trains kept passing by. The birds kept chirping, the postman kept delivering, grass kept growing and the bills kept rolling in. It’s an awful thought that once you leave this earth, life after death will never really be the same again for the loved ones who have lost – yet the world still can manage to exist….!

Today is my nana’s 81st birthday! It is the first birthday that we don’t get to give nana a present, kiss or cuddle. It’s the first birthday that we don’t get to enjoy a favourite meal of hers with her. It’s the first, so it hurts the most;( We are determined to keep nana’s memory alive and to never forget the unbelievable person she was, who taught us how to be strong and resilient! 80 years on this earth – working hard everyday of her life is nothing to forget!!! So to celebrate the day nana was born, we decided to make a day full of nana’s favourites:)….

Ahhh the memories…if only we could celebrate one more….

Because today is a work day, we celebrated nana’s birthday a little earlier on Saturday. We went out to the cemetery, took cupcakes and balloons, sang happy birthday to nana and placed flowers on her resting place! We laughed, we cried and spoke to nana as we know she is with us all the time…

That afternoon we went back to my sister’s house and indulged in all the delicious foods that were nana’s favourite and that she would cook us over the years. We had roast lamb with baked veggies and cheesecake and dumplings and custard for dessert…it was a beautiful way to remember and celebrate nana’s birthday!

Today is a harsh reminder that nana won’t be here to celebrate birthdays, Christmas and the like from now on. It’s another example of a day that will continue to roll by without nana present. But although she’s not physically with us anymore I believe and will always believe that nana is with us spiritually! She has to be. Life after death has to continue in the form of a spirit! I am a firm believer in angels and nana was an angel to me when she was living and forever she will be my angel walking beside me!

Happy birthday my beautiful angel! May you be celebrating with loved ones on the peak of roof tops, doing the hot shoe shuffle!