Tug of War…

I’ve…hit…a…brick wall…my brain is in a state of ‘tug of war’!!! We are ALL tired…the kids are a weeping mess. It feels like we’re running a marathon on empty. We can see the finish line, yet it’s still so far away. This year has been a massive one to say the least and with a husband who has had two weeks holidays in two years…let’s just say – we need a holiday!!!!

I don’t know about you, but at this time of year I always fall into a trap where I’m torn between wanting the year to hurry up and end so we can be on holidays and enjoy the fun of the festive and holiday season. But then I don’t want it to go to fast as I want to enjoy it and if it goes fast that means my babies will be turning another year older….sigh!!

I find once the calendar turns over to November and between the end of year jobs as a teacher, the end of year things to organise as a parent and everything that Christmas brings, before we know it we’ll be shouting out “happy new year!!!!” But for me this year is different. This year has seen so many highs and some of the lowest of lows emotionally. It’s the year my first born baby girl started prep…and it’s the year we’ve lost one of the most precious people in our lives…nana;( Yes a new year will bring a new start for everyone, but it means letting go as well…tug of war!

I’ve absolutely enjoyed the school year as a mum…having a child in prep is awesome! This year has been even more special as Sienna has had far more hurdles to overcome than Bailey ever did when he started prep. I’ve had the privilege of watching my insecure and shy girl grow and evolve into an outgoing and happy 5 year old, who is nothing like the girl who walked through those prep doors at the beginning of the year. I’m so grateful that by only working two days a week, I’ve had three days where I’ve been able to share in puzzles and games with my little preppie and now being able to help with literacy groups once a week has been a real treat for both sienna and I!

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Sienna has come so far thanks to her amazing prep teacher!

At the end of this week, there will only be 5 weeks left to enjoy being a prep mum. The light at the end of this tunnel is that I get to do it all over again in 2 years time. I’m also at peace with knowing that my little girl is ready to tackle the challenges of grade one. Ask me that 6 months ago and I wouldn’t have been able to give a confident answer, but I’m super confident now…I just want to hold on to the next 5 weeks for as long as I can though;( because once your child finishes prep, they’ll be in grade 3 before you know it…which is my son!!!

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How did I come to have an almost grade 1 and grade 3 child…they were only born yesterday weren’t they?;(?;(

The precious time I’ve had with Mia this year has been so special, as it’s the first time in 5 years I’ve been able to spend quality time with only one of my children, rather than bits here and there. A new year for Mia means making the decision to start her in kindy…tug of war or maybe that one is having to clip the apron strings;(

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Feels like Mimi has gone from a baby to a little lady over night!

I often get into a slump where time (and the lack of it) defeats my thinking. I start to feel sad and down about how fast my children are growing up and how the weeks keep rolling into months and I somehow get myself into a state of panic where I feel suffocated…weird I know, but that’s the control freak coming out in me!!! The past week I’ve felt so suffocated by everything and on the weekend I felt defeated. But then realty knocked on the door and made me realise that I’m in control of whether I’m defeated and that I will NEVER be!

It’s at times like this that I have to put my big girl pants on, take a big deep breath and just take each day as it comes. Knowing that every weekend is busy for the rest of the year is not going to defeat me, rather it will excite me at the possibilities of fun that is ahead of us. The fact that almost everyday for the rest of the year has something on is not going to bog me down, rather I’m going to feel grateful that my life is full of wonderful people and events to create new memories at! The fact that my children are going to get more tired and more irritable as the school year gets closer to finishing is not going to make me lose dignity as a mother, rather I will try and stay as calm as I can…and that goes for keeping as calm as I can with my husband to lol!

I have faith that together we will cross the finish line at the end of the year….there may be a few bumps along the way, but we will stay united until the end! Most importantly if there is ever a time in the year to appreciate the amazing things in life, it’s now. As we venture into a time of craziness, I will remember to stop and enjoy the small things in life. I will try and be the best wife and mother I can be. I will be organised and efficient and do the most important things that need to be done in a day. When I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed I will stop, sit, take some deep breaths and remember the most important things in life are…to love, to laugh and to live like there’s no tomorrow!

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Sometimes they drive me up the wall, but mostly they always make me laugh!

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